


The Library Downtown

by pastelhajime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Heartbreak, Library, M/M, Multi, Original Characters - Freeform, Pining, idk how this tag stuff works, lit friendships, more characters as we go along yeet, playboy!oikawa, there's a fuck ton of drama stay tuned, y'all are gonna hate me for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelhajime/pseuds/pastelhajime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Uh, if you want to take that home, you're going to have to check it out."</p>
<p>"How about I take you home instead? I can guarantee I've checked you out at least once."</p>
<p>-or-</p>
<p>in which oikawa keeps hitting on iwaizumi, the helper at the library</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "pretty boy"

**Author's Note:**

> this is for megan!! i really hope you like this one i loved writing it omg
> 
> oikawa's a shit but he's my shit (and iwaizumi's)
> 
> also makki we love makki God bless him ^_^

Iwaizumi out his phone away and sighed. He loved coming to the library, he really did, but it seemed he was the only one who actually did. Because his shift had started at one o'clock, and he'd only had one visitor since then—his mom, who had stopped by to say hi. (She'd also borrowed a book, but only out of sympathy. Why else would you you borrow 'Every Adult's Nightmare–Termites.'?)

"Iwaizumi? Are you still alive?" Makki, who was also working this shift, called out, smirking, The company of a friend was one of only reasons he'd stayed at this job for so long, but lately, he was starting to rethink that opinion.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Makki." He snapped, adjusting a stack of papers.(He was working at the front desk.) "I happen to enjoy my job here, thank you."

Makki snorted, putting a book away. He jumped onto the desk, much to the other boy's dismay. "Oh, please." He laughed, tilting his head back. "There is literally no one on this planet who would voluntarily hang out at the library."

"Okay, that's total bull—" They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Makki hopped off the desk.

A boy—around their age—stepped in, his eyes big and wide. He had brown, wavy hair that stood up effortlessly, and when he walked up to the front desk, Iwaizumi could tell he was slightly taller than him, though he was too proud to admit it.

"Ooh, that's a hot one," Makki whispered, wiggling his eyebrows at Iwaizumi. "I'd keep him, but this ship has sailed." He nudged Iwaizumi who glared back at him. "Go say hi!"

"Makki, I swear to G—oh, hey, how can I help you?" Iwaizumi asked, plastering a fake smile on his face. Makki giggled.

"Well, I can least at least five ways off the top of my head, but I'm certain there's more." The boy winked. Iwaizumi turned a bright red, appalled, and tried to ignore the sound of Makki's laughter behind him.

"I—wha—excuse me?" Iwaizumi spluttered, clearly flustered. "This is a public library, sir. Please remain formal."

"Sir?" The stranger raised an eyebrow. "Kinky, now are we?"

Iwaizumi looked down, cheeks still blazing, as Makki yelled, "I ship it!"

The stranger smirked, and hopped onto the desk. Iwaizumi took a step back. "The names Oikawa, but you—" he winked again, causing Makki to laugh even harder. "—can call me anything, sweet cheeks."

Iwaizumi ignored Makki, who was now on the floor wheezing. (”Camera," He whispered between laughs, holding his stomach. "Someone get this on camera.") He frowned at the taller boy. "Well, Oikawa," He spat, venom laced in his voice. "I'm going to need you to hop off that desk."

"You need me to?" He repeated, shaking his head. "Look, I need your phone number." He rambled casually, shrugging. "But we can't all get what we want, can we?"

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I can't deal with this. Makki," He turned to face said boy, who was breathing heavily from all the laughter. "You're in charge for a while."

Instead of waiting for a response, he headed off, Oikawa trailing behind him like a lost puppy. "Wait!" The brunette yelled. "I didn't get your name, pretty boy."

Iwaizumi spun round. "Why on Earth would you possibly—"

"Iwaizumi Hajime." He read off his library-issued name tag. Iwaizumi face palmed in shame. "Cute name for a cute boy."

"I thought I was 'pretty boy'?" 

"Oh, so you admit you like the nickname, Iwa-chan?"

"Iwa-what now?" Iwaizumi growled. Oikawa swallowed, "What did you just call me?"

"It's just," Oikawa ran a hand through his hair. "I-wai-zu-mi is so long, so I shortened it!" He beamed. Iwaizumi sighed.

"Look, what do you want?" He moaned, defeated. "And if I give it to you, will you go away?"

Oikawa's face lit up. Literally. Like he was the freakin' moon or something, Iwaizumi thought.

"A kiss," Oikawa replied. Iwaizumi blinked.

"No."

"Iwa-chan, it's for a dare!" Oikawa whined. He grabbed onto Iwaizumi's hand so that he couldn't walk away. Iwaizumi froze. "Please, Iwa-chan."

"A kiss," Iwaizumi repeated slowly. He couldn't believe what he had gotten himself into. But then again, what chance did he have?

"Yes."

"And that's it,"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa looked him in the eye, before winking. "If you want more, we can have more."

"What? Oh, God, no!" Iwaizumi snapped, rubbing his temples. "Fine. One kiss and we're done, okay?"

"Yay, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa laughed, lifting Iwaizumi's chin. He looked away. "Aw, is little Iwa-chan nervous?" He cooed. "Don't worry, I'll make it good for you. I've heard, my kisses are to die for. Consider yourself lucky."

"You pretentious little—” But he hit cut off by a pair of lips against his. Oikawa's mouth was warm, and Iwaizumi found himself tilting his head back to meet him.

"Woah!" They broke apart rapidly, just in time to see a grinning Makki. "You guys get it on fast! Nice!" He laughed. Iwaizumi's cheeks burned.

"Couldn't you have done it on the cheek?" He mumbled. Oikawa laughed.

"Maybe next time," He mused, heading toward the exit. "See you, Iwa-chan!"

"Bro," Makki rested a hand on his shoulder. "What just happened?"

"I don't even know, Makki." He replied, scowling at a waving Oikawa.

He couldn't wait for his shift to end.


	2. "this body has it's flaws"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I guess you could say these books were falling for you."
> 
> "That's it. Get out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo chapter two!! it's nice to see y'all are liking it haha :-)
> 
> anyway more library pick up lines, more fuckboy!oikawa, so idk a normal chapter i guess lmao
> 
> also please do leave comments & kudos,, it makes my day honestly <3
> 
> && meghan i'm glad u liked it lol here's chapter two of idk how many enjoy ;)

"Hey, Iwaizumi!" Makki grinned, heading up to the other boy. Iwaizumi groaned. "I bet you five bucks, you can't get the number of someone—"

"Are you underestimating me?"

"—during work hours. Tch," Makki scoffed, his tone disapproving. "so impatient, Iwaizumi."

"Shut up," The raven haired boy muttered, before raising an eyebrow. "You think I can't do it, Makki?"

Makki laughed, his head falling back. "I know you can't. You're such a prude!" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to do it, just you wait." Iwaizumi proclaimed, as Makki laughed even harder.

"Alright, man," Makki headed back to shelving books. "We're going to have to see, now aren't we?" He grinned devilishly, making Iwaizumi roll his eyes again.

"Have to see what?" They both turned to see the disgustingly familiar face of Oikawa. Iwaizumi frowned. "Oh, hey, Iwa-chan! Can I have your number? It hurts my reputation to be around here, y'know?"

"Oikawa," The other boy practically growled, ignoring Oikawa's earlier request. "What are you doing here?"

Oikawa feigned surprise, throwing a hand over his mouth. "Can't I visit the library for entertainment purposes, Iwa-chan?"

"No," He spat. "And stop calling me Iwa-chan."

"Then how about I call you mine instead?" Iwaizumi glared. "No? Then Iwa-chan will have to do, I guess."

"You said you wouldn't come back," Iwaizumi place two hands on the desk in front of him, creating a barrier between the two of them. Oikawa laughed.

"Actually, you said that I wouldn't come back, Iwa-chan. I didn't agree to anything." Iwaizumi felt his head roll back in annoyance. Oikawa smirked, folding his arms and leaning on the front desk."And besides, you can't just control when someone comes, Iwa-chan. It puts a lot of pressure on the other person!" He winked.

Iwaizumi was practically beside himself with rage. "If you make one more crude comment, Oikawa, I swear I'm gonna—"

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "You'll what?" He pointed towards a sign that read, 'In the library, all is family'. "Surely, you wouldn't kick family out?"

"I—" Iwaizumi looked away, embarrassed. "Shut up, Oikawa."

Oikawa smirked, the corner of his mouth pointing up. "Make me, Iwa-chan."

"Oi!" Makki yelled from inside the bookshelves. "Break it up, you two."

Oikawa gestured behind him. "You heard the man." Iwaizumi sighed.

"Whatever. I'm going to help Makki with the books. You can just," He waved around randomly, already regretting this entire conversation. "Do whatever. I don't care."

Oikawa tilted his head to the side. "Is that his name? Makki?" Iwaizumi ignored him. "Hey, Iwa-chan, don't leave me here!" He squeaked, running after him.

"Shame," Iwaizumi turned around, just to glare at Oikawa. "That just so happened to be my plan."

"Mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa stuck his tongue out, and Iwaizumi pretended to cry. 

"Oh, how can I live?" He moaned, resting his forearm on his head. Oikawa rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oikawa called me 'mean'!"

"Shut up," Oikawa looked away. Iwaizumi laughed.

"Make me, Oikawa." Iwaizumi smirked, quoting the other boy from before. Just then, they heard a pile of books fall over. Oikawa winced.

"If you two are done roughing it out, I could—oh, jeez!—really use a hand, thank you very much!" Makki huffed. Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa and smirked.

"You heard the man, Oikawa." Oikawa groaned. "Come on."

"Finally!" Makki cheered, as the two boys reached him, Oikawa complaining under his breath. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you two would make nice kids, but I can't be the only one running the damned library, can I?"

"But I don't even work here!" Oikawa spluttered. Behind him, Iwaizumi snickered. 

"Are you not helping Makki?" Iwaizumi asked, an eyebrow raised. "How mean, Oikawa!" Oikawa glared back at him.

"I don't care," He replied, his voice sharp, and flopped onto a beanbag. "I'm not helping you."

Iwaizumi sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. "Look," He said, shaking his head. "If you help Makki, I'll give you my number okay? You can text me whenever."

"Really?" Oikawa shot his phone out, beaming. "Add yourself, Iwa-chan!"

Makki giggled behind him as Iwaizumi typed it in. "Okay?" He asked once he was done. "Let's go."

Makki handed them a pile of books each, and the two boys staggered into the bookshelves. Iwaizumi had no problem, seeing had had the previous experience, but Oikawa, on the other hand, didn't seem to be doing so well.

"Iwa-chan, I don't think I can—" But before he could finish, his body gave in under the weight, and both him and the books fell to the ground. Iwaizumi groaned.

"Oikawa, you klutz." He hissed, beginning to stack the books. "I can't believe you can't handle a few books."

"This body has its flaws, believe it or not!"

Iwaizumi ignored him, and the two of them went back to stacking the books in silence, at least until Oikawa piped up again. "Hey, Iwa-chan."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Iwa-chan!"

"Fine," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, giving in. "What is it, Oikawa?"

"I guess you could say that—" Oikawa paused, snickering. "—these books were falling for you."

Iwaizumi's jaw dropped, and he stared at Oikawa for a few seconds. Eventually, he regained his composure, and stood up, brushing his hands. "That's it. Get out."

"Aw, don't be so mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa pouted. Iwaizumi pointed towards the door, ignoring him yet again.

"You heard me, don't make me repeat myself."

"But—"

"I said, get out, Oikawa."

"Oh, fine." Oikawa huffed bitterly, storming off in the direction of the door. Before he left, he turned and shot Iwaizumi a quick peace sign. "See you tomorrow, I guess!"

"Go away, Oikawa."

"Oh, wait," Oikawa paused, frowning. "We'll be able to text, won't we?" He lit up again. "It'll be like I never left, right?"

"Just leave," Iwaizumi sighed, as Makki appeared behind him.

"Honestly," Makki laughed, his hands on his hips. "What do you see in that boy?"

Iwaizumi shot him a pointed look. "I don't."

"I know, I'm just messing, man." Makki ruffled Iwaizumi's hair (despite his glares), and headed back to the piles of books. "Oh, by the way," He called out behind his shoulder. "You still owe me five bucks."

"But I—"

"Giving someone your number isn't the same as getting one, idiot. Now get back to work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am loVING writing this no lie
> 
> how would you guys like an asanoya fic?? it's about how noya can't sleep when asahi's away and it's cute n shit
> 
> also check out my other fic (iwaoi), san diego it's ok i guess 
> 
> sorry for the promo i just got a second piercing in my ears and it hurts ok bye


	3. "some cool bros"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumihajime18: You suck. I hate you  
> oikawaliens4life: dont assume such a dom role so early in the relationship, iwa-chan!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ who said i have to suck??  
> iwaizumihajime18: And to think I believed we could have a grown up, civilised conversation.  
> oikawaliens4life: oh, we can talk as much grown up talk as you like, iwa-chan ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  
> iwaizumihajime18: Please, I can feel brain cells dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait!! i'm currently on vacation, so i can barely squeeze in some time sigh 
> 
> anyway, this chapter is quite short, but its the beginning of something important, i think?? i have an idea; i promise the next chapter will be more eventful.
> 
> as always, please leave comments & kudos, it makes my day! ❤️

The next day, Iwaizumi went down with a fever, and so skipped work. Initially, he was worried about how to spend the time, seeing he was too sick to even move, but as his phone buzzed, he realised he needn't worry.

unknown contact: hey iwa-chan can u guess who it is ^_^

Iwaizumi sighed, but found himself saving Oikawa's contact and replying anyway. Something to pass the time, he figured. 

iwaizumihajime18: Fuck off, Oikawa.  
oikawaliens4life: (ಥ﹏ಥ) how could u be so rude??? we literally just started chatting !!!  
oikawaliens4life: also how'd u guess it was me doesnt it say unknown contact??  
iwaizumihajime18: Literally no one I know has a nickname for me as dumb as "Iwa-chan"  
iwaizumihajime18: Although, Makki did say it was growing on him, so thanks for that, Oikawa.  
oikawaliens4life: ayee go makki-chan!! good choice!! (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞  
iwaizumihajime18: Shut up, you're actually the worst, Shittykawa.  
oikawaliens4life: (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) i trusted u iwa-chan how could u call me that im hurt  
iwaizumihajime18: What? You aren't the only one who can come up with a nickname!  
oikawaliens4life: yeah but mine was cute and urs was just plain mean!! (¬_¬)  
iwaizumihajime18: Well, that's a matter of perspective and taste, of course.  
oikawaliens4life: woAH slow down there ur highNESS the rest of us down here cant get what ur sayin!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ  
iwaizumihajime18: ...Did you just admit to me being royalty, Trashykawa?  
oikawaliens4life: o  
oikawaliens4life: shit  
oikawaliens4life: ok fine ur the king of the meanies ur welcome iwa-chan ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ  
iwaizumihajime18: Please stop doing that.  
oikawaliens4life: what??? bein cute yet somehow sexy??  
oikawaliens4life: that just comes naturally, iwa-chan ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
iwaizumihajime18: No, I meant adding an emoticon after every sentence. It's annoying.  
oikawaliens4life: oh!! that's what they're called!!!  
iwaizumihajime18: Christ, Oikawa.  
oikawaliens4life: jkjk ಠ‿↼ im nice don't worry  
oikawaliens4life: unless you prefer being mean, iwa-chan? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
iwaizumihajime18: I hate you so much, Dumbasskawa.  
oikawaliens4life: what a colourful vocabulary iwa-chan (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) do u kiss ur mom with that mouth???  
iwaizumihajime18: You suck. I hate you  
oikawaliens4life: dont assume such a dom role so early in the relationship, iwa-chan!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ who said i have to suck??  
iwaizumihajime18: And to think I believed we could have a grown up, civilised conversation.  
oikawaliens4life: oh, we can talk as much grown up talk as you like, iwa-chan ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  
iwaizumihajime18: Please, I can feel brain cells dying.

Iwaizumi pressed send, waiting for the familiar three dots to appear. Yet, this time, they didn't seem to show. Had he done something wrong? Was Oikawa actually offended? Or was he testing him to see how he'd respond? 

The black haired boy sighed, running a hand through his hair. Texting seemed to get harder everyday.

iwaizumihajime18: Oikawa? You there?  
oikawaliens4life: ah sorry bout the wait!! (✿´‿`) a couple friends invited me 4 drinks,, wanna join us?

Iwaizumi frowned. Drinks and him didn't mix well. 

iwaizumihajime18: Uh, I'll pass.  
oikawaliens4life: iwa-chan!! ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻ that's not how you accept a graceful invitation to hang w/ some cool bros!! bokuto & akaashi are gonna be so bummed!!!  
iwaizumihajime18: Bokuto and Akaashi?  
oikawaliens4life: my bros!! pls come!!  
iwaizumihajime18: I'm sorry, Oikawa. Maybe another time? I don't feel too well today.  
oikawaliens4life: sigh fine u rest up  
oikawaliens4life: we can't have u sick on the best night of ur life, can we??  
iwaizumihajime18: Of course.  
oikawaliens4life: ok im gonna head out now,, sure ur not coming?? ┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬  
iwaizumihajime18: Yes, I'm sure.  
iwaizumihajime18: Don't drink and drive, Oikawa.

Iwaizumi switched his phone off and sank under the covers, not bothering to wait Oikawa's reply. After all, he'd text him back once he came back.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it!! slight tinge of iwaizumi caring about oikawa oOOOooo000hh
> 
> sorry about the confusing text format, i'm on mobile atm and it sucks yikes
> 
> have a great day!!


	4. "alien boxers"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's voice was a soft whisper, so as to not wake Iwaizumi up. "Are you sleeping?"
> 
> Iwaizumi contemplated ignoring him, but eventually decided against it. "No," He replied, biting his lip. "You okay?"
> 
> "Yeah, I just," Even in the darkness, Iwaizumi could make out Oikawa turning so that he was lying on his back, and closing his eyes. "I need to tell you something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay so this is going to be a long chapter, partly to make up for the last one, and partly because this is really important to the story!! it's the first one i've written without a cheesy pick up line, so you can guess how intense this is going to be oops
> 
> i listened to not about angels by birdy while writing this, and i recommend listening to it as you read, more specifically during the second half, where things get more serious yikes
> 
> anyway,, keep leaving kudos & comments, ily all!!

It was 3 am when he heard the first ring.

Iwaizumi shot up in bed, eyes barely open. He began to wonder if he imagined the noise, when it rang out again. Sighing, Iwaizumi pressed accept and pinched himself to stay awake, not even bothering to check who was calling.

"Hello?" He rasped, the noise startling him in the eerily quiet room. "Who is this?"

"Iwa-chan!" He heard a voice yell, and Iwaizumi froze. Oikawa. The atmosphere around him seemed to be loud and crowded, and Iwaizumi thanked every God he knew for having the instinct to decline his earlier request to join his friends for drinks. "How are you!"

"Trashykawa," He hissed, eyes narrowing. "What the fuck are you doing? It's 3 am, Christ."

"Oh, sorry, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa giggled. "You should come join us! Bokuto misses you!"

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to point out that he'd never even met this alleged Bokuto, when he heard a voice yell, "Iwa-chan! Come visit us! You can call me Brokuto!" The man laughed, along with Oikawa.

"Shit, that's a good one, Kou!" He sang, before he went silent. "Oh, I can't see them any more."

Iwaizumi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, there a flash mob now, and woah, they've got a discount on beer! Gimme!" Oikawa cheered. Iwaizumi's eyes widened.

"No, no, Oikawa, get back to Bokuto and Akaashi, do you hear me?" There was no response on the other end of the line. "Oikawa!"

"Iwa-chan, there's a weird man here," Oikawa stage-whispered. "He keeps winking at me."

"Oh, fuck, Oikawa, get away from him, okay? Go look for the other two." Iwaizumi barked. Oikawa laughed.

"But why?" He whined. "He seems very nice! He called me pretty, Iwa-chan!" Iwaizumi's breath hitched.

"Okay, Oikawa, listen to what I'm saying, alright?" He instructed, his voice a low whisper. 

"Sir, yes, sir—oh, you can't touch me there!" Oikawa squeaked.

"Run as fast as you can, Oikawa, get away from him now." Iwaizumi growled, as he listened to Oikawa fight him off. "Oikawa! Don't let him do anything!"

"I—fuck, I can't breathe—got away as fast as I could." Oikawa panted. Iwaizumi breathed an inward sigh of relief. "Wow, he was not a very nice man!"

Iwaizumi laughed. "As long as you're safe."

"Oh, look, he's back again!" Oikawa yelled. Iwaizumi winced, cupping his ears even though he knew it was pointless. "Hey, he's looks like he's trying to find someone, maybe I should help—"

"Oikawa, no!"

"Hey, mister weird man!" There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Yeah, remember me?" Another pause. Iwaizumi sighed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, you were looking for me? How nice!" 

"Oikawa, get the fuck away from that man, now." Iwaizumi snapped, unaware of whether the other boy had actually heard him or not.

"But why?" Oikawa cried. "He seems very nice, Iwa-chan! He said he liked my alien boxers!"

"Why do you even have aliens on your—wait, boxers?" Iwaizumi's eyes widened at the realisation. 

"Yeah! Cool right?" Oikawa chuckled. "Oh, he's getting mad that I'm on the phone, so I'm gonna have to end the—"

"No, wait!" Iwaizumi yelled, holding his breath. "Can you, uh, give him the phone?"

"Give him the phone?" Oikawa echoed, puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to him?"

"No reason," Iwaizumi hummed. "Just, give it to him, okay?"

There was a pause in the other end, before Oikawa whispered, "Okay. It's nice to see you're making some friends, Iwa-chan. I was starting to worry that me and Makki-chan and Bokuto and Akaashi were your only friends!"

"Why you little—"

"Hello?" A low voice on the other end asked. Iwaizumi frowned.

"Get the hell away from Oikawa, you pervert." Iwaizumi growled, his eyebrows knotting in the middle of his forehead. The man laughed.

"Oh, why would I do that?" He asked, in between chuckles. "Your friend here is a very pretty boy." Iwaizumi scowled as he heard Oikawa exclaim 'oh, thank you!'

"I don't care how pretty Oikawa is," He spat, crossing his arms. "You are nowhere near good enough for him, you hear me? You. Are. Nothing."

The man laughed again, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but realise that it was literally the ugliest laugh he'd ever heard. "And you? You his boyfriend or something, hmm?"

Iwaizumi's breath hitched as he ran a hand through his hair. If he said no, then there was no doubt that sicko would have his way with Oikawa, and no matter how much he hated him, he didn't deserve that. 

On the other hand, if he said yes...

"Yeah, actually." Iwaizumi finally replied, trying to sound confident. "Get away from Oikawa, man, or I'm going to come up there myself, you hear me?"

Silence ensured, and Iwaizumi's heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. "Fine," the man snarled, and Iwaizumi closed his eyes in relief. "He's practically nothing, anyway."

"Whatever. Just, hand Oikawa the phone again." Iwaizumi pinched his temple. He could feel a headache coming on.

"What if I don't want—"

"Do it," Iwaizumi hissed, and listened as the man sighed and handed the phone to Oikawa. "Oikawa, hey—"

"That man was so mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa hiccuped, and that's when Iwaizumi realised he was crying. "He slapped me on the face and said I wasn't pretty, anyway!"

Iwaizumi sighed, "Oikawa, I—"

"And he said the boxers were dumb, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa wailed, sniffing. "How could he betray me like that?"

Iwaizumi shook his head, sighed once again, and got out of bed. "Look," He said, slipping on his shoes and some pants. "Where are you?"

"The bar on 22nd and 3rd." 

"Okay, don't move, I'm going to pick you up, alright?" Iwaizumi whispered in what he hoped was a soothing tone. "Five minutes, tops."

"Okay," Oikawa's voice was hoarse and soft from all the crying. "Please come fast, Iwa-chan." His voice cracked a bit at the end, and Iwaizumi felt his heart break for him.

Wait a minute.

"Five minutes," Iwaizumi repeated, opening his car door. He pushed away any thoughts or images of a crying Oikawa, and instead started his car. "I'm on my way."

(time skip bc i'm lazy)

"Iwa-chan!" Iwaizumi looked up from the wheel to see Oikawa running towards him, as if they were in some romantic comedy, and tried his best to stifle a laugh. "You made it!" Oikawa cheered, opening the car door and sliding in.

"I said I would, didn't I?" He laughed, ruffling Oikawa's hair, who pouted. "Now, let's get you home."

The two boys settled into a comfortable silence, safe from Oikawa occasionally piping up to point out some seemingly fatal flaw that Iwaizumi had, and the latter had to try his hardest not to smack the former upside on the head.

"Here we are," Iwaizumi finally announced, ignoring Oikawa's tirade on how 'unmanly' Iwaizumi was. ("Iwa-chan, you don't have a beard! However are you gonna look manly?" "You don't even have one, Shittykawa." "Yeah, well, I look manly anyway. And don't get me started on your eyebrows!")

He helped Oikawa out of the car, and the taller boy stared at Iwaizumi's house in surprise. "This...isn't my house, Iwa-chan!" He gasped, lips pursed. Iwaizumi laughed.

"I know that, Bakakawa." He wrapped one of Oikawa's arms around his shoulders to help him stand. "This is my house, okay?" He paused for a minute, fitting the key into the lock. Turning to face the other boy, he continued. "Right, so my house isn't the neatest ever, but—"

"Iwa-chan! Your house is so big!" Oikawa squealed, dashing into the living room. Iwaizumi watched, expression unreadable, as Oikawa scanned the room, eyes wide. "It could fit three times my house and more!"

"Shut up, Oikawa." Iwaizumi looked away, cheeks blazing. He didn't like to display the fact that he was rich. 

"But seriously," Oikawa looked down. "T-Thank you for helping me, Iwa-chan. I know I'm kind of annoying and stuff, but—"

"It's fine," Iwiazumi cut him off, his tone sharp and curt. He walked into his room, beckoning for Oikawa to follow. "Here," He threw a t-shirt and a pair of boxers at the other boy. "Put these on."

"O-Okay," Oikawa stammered. He lifted his fingers to the hem of his shirt, and then looked at Iwaizumi. "Don't look."

Iwaizumi didn't reply. Oikawa took in a deep breath, and waited until the other boy nodded, turning his head away.

"Don't look," He repeated again, softly, either to him, or Iwaizumi, or both, and slipped the shirt on silently. Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut, his mind racing. He willed his feet to move, to give Oikawa some privacy, but they were frozen.

He opened his eyes when he heard the soft 'thud' of Oikawa's clothes hitting the floor. "I'm done," Oikawa whispered, as Iwaizumi turned to face him.

"Yeah?" Iwaizumi breathed, his eyes half closed. He licked his lips as Oikawa nodded.

"Yeah," He repeated. Turning to the door, he looked up at Iwaizumi. "I-Well, I'm going to move onto the couch, do you have any—?”

"No."

"I can't have a blanket?" Oikawa whined, tilting his head back. "Mean, Iwa—"

"No, I meant you're not going to sleep on the couch, I-I'll sleep there." Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair. "You can have my bed."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, eyes wide. Iwaizumi looked away. Oikawa shook his head. "No, I-I can't allow that. You can," Oikawa paused, swallowing. "You can join me if you like."

"Oika—"

"Completely platonic," Oikawa promised, lacing his fingers together. "Or just as acquaintances, whatever. I just—I can't do that. After all you've done for me."

"Okay," Iwaizumi finally replied. He nodded slowly to himself. "As acquaintances, sure."

Oikawa beamed at him, before jumping into bed. "Oh, Iwa-chan! Your bed's so comfy~" He sighed in content, pulling the sheets up to his chin. Iwaizumi frowned.

"Move over," Iwaizumi nudged Oikawa, who shuffled to the other end of the bed. 

Turning the lights off, Iwaizumi climbed into bed, the only light the moon shining in through the window. He shut his eyes, but his mind was roaring and awake. He had literally just met Oikawa, a couple of days ago, and now they were sharing a bed together? And more importantly, he claimed to be his boyfriend?

Iwaizumi sighed, turning to his side, so that he was facing Oikawa's back. It was broad and lean, yet somehow muscular as well. He saw the way his shirt was spread out across the small of his back, his shoulders, and how it hung in certain places. 

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's voice was a soft whisper, so as to not wake Iwaizumi up. "Are you sleeping?"

Iwaizumi contemplated ignoring him, but eventually decided against it. "No," He replied, biting his lip. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just," Even in the darkness, Iwaizumi could make out Oikawa turning so that he was lying on his back, and closing his eyes. "I need to tell you something."

Iwaizumi frowned. "Go on,"

"It wasn't a dare," Oikawa's voice wavered slightly, and you could barely hear him. "I was never dared to kiss you."

Iwaizumi's eyes widened. "But you said—"

"I knew what I said, Iwa-chan." Oikawa laughed softly, like he was afraid to. "And I guess, yeah, technically I was dared to kiss you, but not really."

"Oikawa, what are you saying?" Iwaizumi tried to look at Oikawa, but the other boy's eyes were still shut. 

"Bokuto and Akaashi, they—" Oikawa paused, and swallowed again, and Iwaizumi could see the shadow of his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in the dark. "They dared me to make a move on the person I liked, to get a kiss from them."

Iwaizumi sucked in a deep breath. "Oikawa," His voice was a scared whisper. "You like me?"

Oikawa laughed again. "Of course I do," He opened his eyes and turned so that he was facing Iwaizumi. "I remember—I came to the library with a couple of friends to do some studying, and I saw you." Oikawa sighed, smiling softly. "You were gorgeous, Iwa-chan, you were the prettiest thing I'd ever seen."

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi's voice was tight and strained, like he was hurt.

"So I'd peep in everyday. Makki-chan was very helpful, he told me so much about you. Like for instance your favourite sport is volleyball, no?"

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi repeated again. He sat up in bed. "H-How long has this gone on?"

"It may come off as stalkerish, but," Oikawa pushed himself up, so that he was sitting up straight. "It's been around a month." Oikawa bit his lip and Iwaizumi watched as his lips turned white. "I just-I was too scared to do anything."

"Eventually Bokuto and Akaashi found out, and then they dared me to get a kiss from you. It was so hard, Iwa-chan, pretending I didn't know anything about you, pretending I didn't care about you, when really, I had liked you for as long as I can remember."

"And that kiss, oh my God, Iwa-chan," Oikawa spread his fingers out in front of him. "It wasn't my first, but it definitely the best I've had. But the way you seemed so reluctant, so mad, I—" Oikawa settled his hands onto his lap. "I was worried you didn't like me back."

 

"Oikawa, I—" Iwaizumi tried to speak, but Oikawa shook his head.

"I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me, Iwa-chan. I know it's far-fetched, I'm not dumb." Oikawa smiled softly. "Just—tonight, let me be with you. Just for one night. Tomorrow morning, we can go our separate ways, and everything can go back to normal." Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but notice the tears streaming down his cheeks. "It—It was really nice hanging out with you these last couple days, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi didn't know what to do. "Oikawa," He whispered, as the other boy slid back down into the sheets.

Oikawa gave him a small, sad smile. "Good night, Iwa-chan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soRRY FOR THE HEARTACHE AHHHH
> 
> anyway, school's starting in about 5 days, so my updates are going to be less frequent (sigh) just so you know
> 
> thanks for reading + have a great day!!


	5. "chickens and hot tea"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa jumped out his seat. "Do you have any tea?"
> 
> Iwaizumi frowned, turning his head to side in thought. "Uh, yeah, do you want some?"
> 
> Oikawa flashed him a quick grin. "No." He laughed quietly to himself, and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I guess I just really expected you to have some, and I was right."
> 
> "I don't get it." Iwaizumi folded his arms as Oikawa laughed even harder. 
> 
> "Iwa-chan, it's so obvious!" Oikawa gasped between chuckles. "Hotties always have hot tea!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am aLIVE~
> 
> ok im just gonna let you jump straight into this chapter enjoy some fluff i guess??
> 
> ily!

The next morning, Oikawa woke up with a pounding headache and a note by the bedside table, along with a glass of a water and two tablets of aspirin. He smiled softly.

Swallowing the pills, Oikawa picked up the note. 'Morning, Shittykawa.' It read, and Oikawa rolled his eyes at the other boy's curt attitude (and nickname). 'Have the two pills because there's no doubt you're hungover as fuck. I'm in the kitchen making breakfast; I'm assuming you like eggs.'

Oikawa put the note back down and got out of bed, wincing at the pain the movement caused. He walked down the hallway, his footsteps echoing softly behind him. The smell of eggs and bacon was hovering in the air, and Oikawa felt his stomach rumble.

"Sleep well?" Oikawa looked up to see Iwaizumi standing by the stove, expertly flipping some eggs. (There was no doubt he was good at it, because apparently there was nothing in the known world that Iwaizumi wasn't good at.) He nodded slowly, yawning.

"Your bed's kinda lumpy, though." Oikawa shrugged, and took a seat at one of the chairs by the kitchen counter. Iwaizumi glared.

"The Lord must have sent you into my life as some sort of punishment." Iwaizumi put the pan down, and raised his hands up towards the ceiling. "Dear God!" He yelled, making Oikawa giggle. "Forgive me, for I have sinned!"

Oikawa didn't reply, instead stuck his tongue out at the older boy, who returned it with a not so graceful flipping of the bird. "So," Oikawa began, plopping his elbows on the counter and resting his chin in his hands. "Why'd you assume I like eggs?"

Iwaizumi flipped the eggs again, raising an eyebrow. "Uh, because everyone likes eggs?"

Oikawa snorted, crossing his arms. "That's not true," He stated, his tone very matter-of-fact. (It made Iwaizumi want to punch him in the face, but then again, everything did.) "Vegans don't."

"Fine," Iwaizumi turned off the stove and turned to face Oikawa. "Everyone but vegans."

"What if you're allergic?"

"Okay, here's the deal." Iwaizumi snarled. "Are you a vegan?"

"Uh, no."

"Are you allergic to eggs?"

"Well, no, but—"

"There," Iwaizumi slid the eggs into Oikawa's plate, making the taller boy scowl. "It's settled. You can have eggs."

"Mean, mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa stuck his tongue out at the other boy again, who rolled his eyes. Begrudgingly, he took a bite, and oh my God, it was the best thing he'd ever had.

His face must have given it away, because Iwaizumi smirked at him and asked, "Everything okay, Oikawa?"

Oikawa tried to glare at him, but it was hard with a mouthful of eggs. Instead, he replied with inhuman sounds that Iwaizumi didn't even try to understand.

"What's the problem?" Iwaizumi asked sweetly, and Oikawa rolled his eyes. "Chicken got your tongue?"

Suddenly, Oikawa began choking on his eggs, and Iwaizumi raced over to him, frantically slapping him on the back. The older boy watched, eyes widened, as the pieces of egg flew out of Oikawa and onto his plate, and Oikawa himself spluttering and waving his arms around wildly.

"What?" Iwaizumi squeezed in as Oikawa stopped dying. "Did you eat too much or something?"

"No it's just—" Oikawa was interrupted by another cough. "—that was the worst joke I've ever heard, Iwa-chan!"

All the worry vanished from Iwaizumi's face, and instead he smacked Oikawa upside in the head, much to his very vocal protests. "You're useless, Oikawa." But he was smiling, and so was Oikawa.

"Hey, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa jumped out his seat. "Do you have any tea?"

Iwaizumi frowned, turning his head to side in thought. "Uh, yeah, do you want some?"

Oikawa flashed him a quick grin. "No." He laughed quietly to himself, and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I guess I just really expected you to have some, and I was right."

"I don't get it." Iwaizumi folded his arms as Oikawa laughed even harder. 

"Iwa-chan, it's so obvious!" Oikawa gasped between chuckles. "Hotties always have hot tea!"

The realisation of the atrocious pun sunk into Iwaizumi as he stared ahead, blank-faced. He couldn't even respond to Oikawa's laughter and snarky comments; ("That was a tea-riffic pun, wasn't it, Iwa-chan?") he was so surprised.

"I–You–" Iwaizumi stuttered, weakly lifting a finger and pointing at Oikawa, who just laughed even harder.

"Oh my God, Iwa-chan." Oikawa shrieked, as his laughter eventually died down. "Your face!"

"Shut up," Iwaizumi looked away, and Oikawa could see the patches of red creeping up his neck and cheeks. "It was dumb joke—you're a dumb joke."

"Is that your idea of a comeback, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa slapped the other boy on the back, causing him to almost fall over, because damn, as much as Iwaizumi didn't want to admit it, Oikawa was stronger than he'd thought. "Props for trying though."

"I said, shut up!" Iwaizumi yelled, his face red from rage. Oikawa stared at him through the silence, as if he had been spotted by a bear, and looked down. "I–"

"It's fine," Oikawa bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi, again, was reeled into a state of shock. Oikawa was apologising to him? "Did you—"

"Here," Oikawa led Iwaizumi's arms and placed them so that they were wrapped his waist. Humming softly to himself, he wrapped his own arms around Iwaizumi's neck, resting his head on the shorter boy's shoulder. Iwaizumi shivered as Oikawa let out a content sigh. "Stay like this."

"I—What are you doing?" Iwaizumi stuttered, as Oikawa gently swayed from side to side. "Oikawa?"

"Shh," Oikawa placed a thin finger on the other boy's lips. "Hugs help calm you down." He looked up for a second to give Iwaizumi a pointed look. "And don't argue with me on this; it's a known fact."

Iwaizumi took Oikawa's hand off his face and held it up in front of him. "You don't eat enough, Oikawa." He said, an eyebrow raised. Oikawa laughed, but it was strained and uncomfortable.

"This isn't about me, Iwa-chan." He murmured, his eyes fluttering shut. Iwaizumi forced himself to look away.

"Yes, it is." Iwaizumi pulled away and lifted Oikawa's chin so that they were looking each other in the eye. "Why aren't you eating?"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa looked away, to the plate of unfinished eggs. "Leave it alone."

"No." Iwaizumi's voice was hard and firm, and his eyebrows knotted together. "I won't. Answer my question, Oikawa."

"Why should I?" Oikawa laughed weakly again, but it sounded more angry this time. "You don't even know my first name, Iwa-chan. Why would I tell you?"

"Because," Iwaizumi snapped, exasperated. He ran a hand through his hair as Oikawa shut his eyes again. "I-I care about you, Oikawa."

Oikawa snorted, crossing his arms. "Oh, do you?" His voice was thin, like it could break any second. "What are you, my boyfriend?"

Both eyes widened as the words left Oikawa's lips, instantly flash backing to the other night. Oikawa swallowed, and Iwaizumi looked away.

"No, I'm not." Iwaizumi crossed his arms, lips pursed. He knew he probably looked like an angry five-year-old, but he didn't care. "I'm your friend, Oikawa. And friends care about each other, no matter what."

Oikawa took in a sharp breath. "Iwa-chan,"

"I know you, um, like me." Iwaizumi muttered, cheeks blazing. He cleared his throat and continued. "And that's fine. I'm not going to change how you feel. But," He looked away; he didn't want to see how Oikawa was looking at him. "I still care about you. Like, if I didn't, then I'd have left you with that creep last night, but, uh, I didn't, so."

Oikawa broke out into a giant grin. "Iwa-chan," He breathed again, and Iwaizumi's eyes finally met his own. They were full of wonder and amazement, like Oikawa could hardly believe that Iwaizumi even existed. 

"We're probably going to have talk about this," Iwaizumi continued, letting his hands drop to his sides. "This, as in all this...liking stuff." Iwaizumi bit his lip. "But I think, that it's okay if we leave it for now. We've got time." He nodded slowly, as if he was assuring himself as well as Oikawa, who nodded back.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa loosely locked his fingers together in front of him, head bowed, like he was praying. "I–Thank you."

Iwaizumi didn't reply, instead spread his arms out wide. "Come on, then."

Oikawa frowned confused. "Um, what?"

The shorter boy rolled his eyes, as if he couldn't believe how dumb the other was. "You yourself said that hugs help calm you down." Oikawa opened his mouth to argue, but Iwaizumi shook his head. "It's a known fact."

Eventually, Oikawa gave in, letting himself be enveloped by Iwaizumi's strong arms and scent. He buried his face in the other boy's neck, and Iwaizumi had to admit, he loved the way that Oikawa's nose fit perfectly in the dip of his collarbone. "Tooru," Oikawa whispered, his voice muzzled by the other's shirt. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. "That's my given name, Tooru."

"Tooru, huh." Iwaizumi repeated, a smile growing on his lips, thankful that Oikawa couldn't see it. He felt the other boy smile into his chest, and pulled him closer.

"Yeah," Oikawa mumbled. "Don't wear it out."

\------------

'oikawaliens4life' has been renamed in your contacts as 'Tooru'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aND THERE YOU HAVE IT
> 
> ((im sorry it's late i can't think straight))
> 
> ((poet and i didn't even know it))
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments!! have a great day!!


	6. "whipped cream"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, looking up at him. "I didn't know it meant this much to you."
> 
> "Are you kidding?" Iwaizumi finally stood up, and let go of Oikawa's hand, brushing his shirt off. "I just need to figure...this out." He ran a hand through his hair, returning Oikawa's gaze. "And you're right. We have time, but it's better if we get it done." He pulled Oikawa by the arm and headed towards the doors.
> 
> "Really, if you have to leave your job for this, then—"
> 
> "Look," Iwaizumi stopped and folded his arms. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I care about you—about your wellbeing." He looked away. "And, well, you're my friend. If there's something uneasy, we sort it out, okay? That's how friends work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i don't ever think ive updated this soon ur welcome
> 
> anyway!! this chapter is just a filler BUT i guarantee you that the next one will speed things up a little (if you know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))
> 
> also which would rather have; fluff or smut?? because i can't make up my mind and i just want y'all to like this shit so let me know thnx 
> 
> enjoy this chapter!!

"Look who finally decided to show up!" Iwaizumi looked up from his phone to see an angry (but not really) Makki at the front desk of the library, with his boyfriend, Mattsun, beside him. Makki grabbed the other boy by the arm and shook him at Iwaizumi. "Do you see this? I had to ask Mattsun, who is studying to be a doctor, mind you, to fill in for you! He barely has enough time as it is!"

Mattsun, who seemed unfazed by all the shaking, shrugged. "It's the end of semester break, so I'm free."

"Exactly!" Makki squished Mattsun's cheeks with his thumb on the left one, and the rest of his fingers on the right. Mattsun hesitated only for a second before slapping it away. "My poor baby is on his break and I—the love of his life—had to ask him to cover for you!"

"Seriously," Mattsun glared at Makki. "I am not your poor baby."

"Mattsun!" Makki whined, stomping his feet. He stopped when Iwaizumi snickered and instead, focused his attention on him. Crossing his arms, he raised an eyebrow. "So? Where have you been?"

Iwaizumi put his bag in the cubicles provided for workers. "Uh, nowhere?"

Mattsun giggled behind him as Makki huffed, exasperated. "Don't bullshit me, Iwaizumi." He snapped, but there was no venom in his voice. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "God, you're such a jerk."

"I already told you, Makki." Iwaizumi pulled up a chair and sat beside Mattsun, who offered him a soft fist-bump. "I had a fever."

Makki scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Sure you did," He shook his head. "Fevers don't last a week, do they, Mattsun? You're a doctor, you should kno—"

"He likes someone." Mattsun cut him off, and Iwaizumi turned bright red. Makki's eyes widened, and an even bigger smile on his face.

"Really?" Makki asked, excited, looking back between Mattsun and Iwaizumi. "Who is it? Are they hot? How could you tell, Mattsun? Do they teach this in doctor school?"

"Doctor sch—Makki, that's called college." Mattsun sighed, disappointed. "And no, they don't teach noticing your friend's facial expressions at college. That's just something all friends should do."

Makki ignored him and instead leaned over so that he was right in front of Iwaizumi, who seemed uncomfortable by the lack of personal space. "Tell me!"

Iwaizumi crossed his arms. "There's nothing to tell. I don't like anyone."

Mattsun gave a little smile. "I never thought I'd side with Makki on this, but," He snaked an arm around Makki and pulled him into his lap, and Makki lay his head on his shoulder. "I have to admit, I wanna know about the person who's got you skipping shifts."

Iwaizumi looked away. "I, well—"

"Good morning, Iwa-chan, Makki-chan, and handsome stranger with Makki-chan on his lap!" The three boys looked up to see a grinning Oikawa, who looked even happier than usual. Iwaizumi flushed bright red, again, and Makki let out a gasp.

"Oh my God, Iwaizumi, you lik—"

"Okay, that's enough for now." Mattsun clamped a hand over his boyfriend's mouth and picked him up bridal style, despite his protests. He began walking deeper into the library and called out behind his shoulder, "You take care of the front desk!"

"Got it!" Iwaizumi yelled back, and ran a hand through his hair as Oikawa walked towards him. He was positively glowing, in every way, and Iwaizumi felt like he might explode. "Uh, hey."

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa flung his arms around Iwaizumi, who staggered back in surprise. (Because even if it had been a day, Oikawa didn't get any less stronger.) "I've missed you,"

"You idiot, we saw each other yesterday." Iwaizumi hissed, trying to pry Oikawa's arms off him, but he couldn't keep the chuckle out of his voice. Finally, he gave up and just lay limp in Oikawa's embrace, sighing. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course!" He beamed, laughing. Iwaizumi looked away, red creeping up his neck. "Oh, and Makki-chan, too. Though the hot guy with Makki-chan on his lap was a nice surprise."

"That's Mattsun," Iwaizumi explained. "He's Makki's boyfriend."

"Ah, what a shame." Oikawa pouted, and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "All the hot boys are taken, huh? Well then," Oikawa lay his head in the base of Iwaizumi's neck. "I'll have to make do with you, I guess."

"Christ, Oikawa." Iwaizumi muttered, but let the other boy remain in the same position. "Why did you really come here?" His voice was a soft whisper now, so that Makki and Mattsun wouldn't hear.

Oikawa pulled away and looked down, but Iwaizumi grabbed his wrist so that he couldn't move away. "Um, because, well," His gaze flickered up at Iwaizumi, before reaching back down to the floor. "I wanted to, uh, talk."

Iwaizumi frowned. "Talk?"

"About all this," Oikawa gestured randomly. "Liking stuff. Who likes who. Who doesn't like who. I know you said we had time, but—"

"Makki! Mattsun!" Iwaizumi yelled, heading over to the cubicle and pulling out his stuff. "I need you to take care of the front desk, I'll cover your shifts later!"

Oikawa watched, gobsmacked, as Iwaizumi put his shoes on. (Iwaizumi still hadn't let go of Oikawa's hand yet, he noticed.) "Wha-Where are we going?" He asked, surprised. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow.

"What, you actually think Makki and Mattsun are civil enough not to eavesdrop on our conversation?" He huffed, lacing his shoes. "We're just stepping out for a bit; I really do have to cover a few more shifts than usual."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, looking up at him. "I didn't know it meant this much to you."

"Are you kidding?" Iwaizumi finally stood up, and let go of Oikawa's hand, brushing his shirt off. "I just need to figure...this out." He ran a hand through his hair, returning Oikawa's gaze. "And you're right. We have time, but it's better if we get it done." He pulled Oikawa by the arm and headed towards the doors.

"Really, if you have to leave your job for this, then—"

"Look," Iwaizumi stopped and folded his arms. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I care about you—about your wellbeing." He looked away. "And, well, you're my friend. If there's something uneasy, we sort it out, okay? That's how friends work."

Oikawa stared at him wide eyed. Iwaizumi shook his head.

"C'mon. I know a good coffee shop downtown."

\-----------

"Two lattes, please." Iwaizumi asked the waitress, who nodded and noted it down. He watched as she desperately tried making flirtatious eye contact with Oikawa, but said boy was too nervous to actually notice. 

"Hey, Oikawa." Oikawa looked away. "Hey. Don't ignore me."

Oikawa blinked. "What?"

Iwaizumi offered him a small smile, one he usually kept for younger children or when he pitied someone. "Calm down," He soothed, "It doesn't have to be this nerve wracking, you know."

"I know," Oikawa snapped, as the waiter returned with the lattes. He gave her a curt nod in thanks, and Iwaizumi swore he heard her ovaries exploding. Taking the straw between his teeth, he crossed his arms. "But this isn't easy for me. Usually, other people confess to me, not the other way around."

"Christ, Oikawa." Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, annoyed by the other boy's self-centred attitude. He looked down. "Not everyone is as popular as you."

.Oikawa hummed in response, and stirred his drink. "Hmm, I guess so." He flashed a grin at Iwaizumi, happy that the shorter boy had admitted he was popular. "Where do we start?"

"Uh, well," Iwaizumi cleared his throat and took a sip from his drink. "You, uh, you mentioned something about seeing me at the library? About, uh," Iwaizumi looked up to see if Oikawa was still looking at him. He was. "Coming with your friends or something?"

"Yeah, that." Oikawa nodded. "It was a couple of guys from my volleyball team, we were going to borrow some books to pull an all-nighter. And then, well, I saw you, and the rest is history."

"Okay, but," Iwaizumi crossed his arms. "You told Makki you liked me? I find that kind of hard to believe, seeing that he literally cannot keep a secret."

Oikawa laughed, tilting his head back. "Of course I didn't tell, Makki-chan! I mean, he's a good guy, but this was something I wanted to keep to myself." He loosely locked his fingers together and smiled. "I told him a friend liked you, and that he had asked me to ask him about you."

"Oh," Iwaizumi muttered, taking another sip of his drink. "So he just believed you?"

"Obviously, I came with friends." Oikawa sighed. "I really wish I'd worked up the courage to tell Makki-chan. He's got a boyfriend, Mattsun-chan, wasn't it?" Iwaizumi nodded. "Yeah, so, he would've given me some advice on what to do. Maybe then we would be on an actual date instead of having this conversation."

Iwaizumi's cheeks burned. "Seriously," He looked down at his feet. "You don't know when to quit it, do you?"

"No, I do." Oikawa put his forearms on the table and leaned closer towards Iwaizumi. "I just don't, because not quitting got me here, didn't it?"

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi couldn't bring himself to look up. "I–I feel awkward. How are we supposed to hang out if I know that you like me, like, in that way?"

Oikawa shrugged. "I don't know, Iwa-chan." He admitted, stirring his drink. Iwaizumi noticed he still hadn't taken a sip, despite putting to his mouth earlier. "But I'm willing to wait for you, as long as I have to. Who knows, maybe being your friend is as good as dating you."

Iwaizumi licked his lips and looked up. "You're really okay with that?"

Oikawa smiled and nodded. "Of course I am." He reached over and wiped some whipped cream off of Iwaizmui's upper lip. before licking his finger. Iwaizumi glared back at him. Standing up, Oikawa dusted his hands softly. "Besides, we have all the time in the world, don't we?"

Iwaizumi stood up uneasily. "I guess so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OoooOOOOO000oohh what's gon happen?? who knows?? (i do sike)
> 
> please do leave comments & kudos; it makes my day, and speaking of days haVE A GOOD ONE ILY ❤️
> 
> (im so smooth wow)


	7. "not so burnt cookies"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just—” Iwaizumi took in a breath and finally mustered the courage to look up at Oikawa. His eyes were dark, like holes in his face. “You said you’d wait for me, Tooru.”
> 
> “I lied,” Oikawa moved the other boy’s hand from his face but didn’t let go of it. He didn’t even have to whisper anymore, Iwaizumi could practically hear his thoughts. “I can’t wait anymore, Iwa-chan.” His voice cracked, and Iwaizumi looked back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woWEE things are gonna get pretty intense from here on out dont forget ur tissues friends
> 
> also before you begin i'd just like to say thaNK YOU to anyone and everyone who's been reading this; you guys are so important and i love you all as much as makki loves mattsun <3
> 
> enjoy this chapter & sorry for the inteNS E FEELS

"—and it was so weird, you know?" Makki laughed, tilting his head back into the base of Mattsun's neck. Mattsun didn't reply, instead pulled the other boy closer to him, nuzzling his nose in Makki's shoulder. Iwaizumi smiled softly.

 The three of them were covering Makki's shift together at the library, with Makki on Mattsun's lap (though there were plenty of chairs, Mattsun's thighs seemed the preferable choice.) and Iwaizumi sitting beside Mattsun, snapping cute pictures of the two for future blackmail.

 "Anyway," Makki tried to get up, but Mattsun held him in place, his arms like a steel trap. "Mattsun, babe, I need to get up." He feigned disapproval and looked away, but Iwaizumi could tell he liked the attention. Mattsun shrugged. "Oh my God, Mattsun, we share an apartment, you know? You never do this then."

 "I don't care." Mattsun pouted. Makki stuck his tongue out and Mattsun rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's comfortable. I like having you on my lap, Makki."

 "Oh, stop it, you." Makki hissed, but couldn't stop the blush from coating his cheeks. "Hey, Iwaizumi, whatcha doing?"

 "Hmm?" Iwaizumi expertly exited the camera mode and swiped so that he was back on his messages. "Oh, uh, nothing."

 "Liar," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at Makki. "Christ, Mattsun, let me go so I can see."

 "Seriously, it's fine." Iwaizumi insisted, and just then, his phone buzzed. He waved the notification in Makki's face. "See? I'm just texting, chill."

 "Yeah, but," Makki squirmed around in his boyfriend's lap a little more, before sighing and giving in. "Who're you texting?"

 "No-one," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes again. He opened up the notification, keeping the screen so that Makki and Mattsun couldn't see. "It's none of your business."

  **Tooru** : hi iwa-chan!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ check it out did you know i could bake??

 Attached to the message was a selfie of Oikawa sitting by an oven with an oversized sweater and some old jeans. He was flashing a peace sign agreements the camera, his smile so wide that his eyes were practically shut. Iwaizumi grinned.

 "Are you texting your special someone, Iwaizumi—or should I say, _Iwa-chan_?" Makki giggled, wiggling his eyebrows. Iwaizumi scowled.

**iwaizumihajime18** : I bet that whatever you're baking is gonna end up all burnt and black.

 He pressed send and smirked as Makki tried desperately to free himself from Mattsun's grip. Suddenly, Mattsun let go of Makki, and the auburn boy fell to the floor with a heavy thud. "Time's up," He announced, helping a grumbling Makki up on his feet. "Can you lock up, Iwaizumi?"

 Iwaizumi nodded, putting his phone in his back pocket. "Yeah, you go on ahead." He promised, and Mattsun dragged the other boy out, despite his complaints. Just as they exited, Iwaizumi's phone buzzed again.

**Tooru** : iwa-chan!! ಥ_ಥ i'm hurt?? im an expert baker don't test m E

**Tooru** : u kno what come by my place n try some ur gonna love my cookies (づ￣ ³￣)づ

**iwaizumihajime18** : Oh yeah? Well, I might just do that, then.

**Tooru** : fine u do that but don't forget to bring tissues for when u crY BECAUSE THEYRE SO GOOD mmmMMMmmM ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

**iwaizumihajime18** : Honestly, I'm starting regret agreeing to be your friend.

**Tooru** : ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

**iwaizumihajime18** : Just text me your address, I'll be there in five minutes.

 --------

 "Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, opening the door. Iwaizumi looked away. After yesterday's 'talk', Iwaizumi could barely look him in the eyes anymore. "You made it!"

 "Shut up, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi muttered to the floor, taking his shoes off by the door. "It's literally just a five minute walk from the library to here."

 Oikawa scrunched his nose up in disgust. "You still work there?" He asked, incredulous. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

 "Uh, yes I do actually. I need money, you know?" He stood back up, so that he was almost eye level with Oikawa. "That's what jobs are for."

 "So mature, Iwa-chan," Oikawa giggled, but didn't mention anything about Iwaizumi's huge house, which he appreciated. Oikawa led Iwaizumi to the kitchen and pulled a chair for him, gently tapping on it. "Here, the cookies aren't quite ready yet."

 "Oh, thanks." Iwaizumi looked around Oikawa's living room in amazement. It was small, but it was filled to the brim with stuff—books, clothes, posters, anything you could think of. His kitchen was no cleaner, with baking equipment sprawled across the kitchen counter and bags of flour on the stove. "Uh, you don't clean up much, do you?"

 "Shut up," Oikawa muttered, pulling a chair for himself. Iwaizumi couldn't help but notice the gap between the chairs, at least six inches. "I would've cleaned if I knew you were coming over."

 Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so I'm a special guest you clean up for, huh?"

 "Don't flatter yourself, Iwa-chan, it'll make your head bigger than it already is, you know." Oikawa smirked, and Iwaizumi smacked him on the side of the head. “Ow!”

 “Trashykawa,” Iwaizumi hissed, shaking his head. He crossed his arms. “When are the cookies going to be—”

 “Now!” Oikawa giggled, and hurriedly put his oven mitts on. Cursing, he slid the tray of (although Iwaizumi’d never admit it, golden brown) cookies onto the counter, sending a whisk flying. “Fuck, that was hot!”

 “Careful,” Iwaizumi chided, getting up off his stool. “Gimme.”

 Oikawa frowned. “What?”

 Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Just give me your hands, Bakakawa, let me see if they’re burnt.”

 “I—” Oikawa opened his mouth to argue, but slammed it shut when he saw the determined look in the other boy’s eyes. “O-Okay, I guess.”

 Swallowing, Oikawa removed the mitts one by one, and placed it on the counter. He stretched his hands out towards Iwaizumi, who put them in his open palms, and studied them, his eyes skimming Oikawa’s milky white skin. Oikawa looked away.

“They’re fine,” Iwaizumi murmured, his voice soft. He didn’t move his hands. “Just red, that’s all.”

 “O-Oh,” Oikawa stared hard at his feet. “That’s a relief, I guess.”

 “Yeah,” Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a soft smile. “It is.”

 Both boys’ eyes drifted down to Oikawa’s hands still in Iwaizumi’s. Taking a deep breath, Oikawa turned his hands around and pushed his fingers through the spaces in Iwaizumi’s and locked them together loosely. Iwaizumi let out a shaky breath.

 “Okay?” Oikawa whispered, his eyes wistful and concerned. Iwaizumi nodded.

 “I’m just going to…” Oikawa brought Iwaizumi’s hand up to his face and gently pressed his lips against it. Iwaizumi’s face crumpled, as if it hurt, and Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 “I just—” Iwaizumi took in a breath and finally mustered the courage to look up at Oikawa. His eyes were dark, like holes in his face. “You said you’d wait for me, Tooru.”

  _Tooru_. “I lied,” Oikawa moved the other boy’s hand from his face but didn’t let go of it. He didn’t even have to whisper anymore, Iwaizumi could practically hear his thoughts. “I can’t wait anymore, Iwa-chan.” His voice cracked, and Iwaizumi looked back down.

 “Stop,” Iwaizumi muttered, glaring at the ground. “Stop taking so much control of my emotions, goddamnit.”

 “Let it go, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa took his other hand and used it to lift Iwaizumi’s chin up, and he felt his chest tighten when he saw the tears in the other boy’s eyes. The sun was setting now, and the pink glow was radiating off Iwaizumi’s square jaw, and Oikawa resisted the urge to try and kiss it. “Stop hiding how you feel,”

 “Oikawa, I—” Iwaizumi bit his lip, his hands shaking. “I don’t know how I feel. Y-You came into my life, a-and now nothing makes sense, and I just—”

 “Then let me show you,” Oikawa let go of Iwaizumi’s chin and wrapped his arm around his waist instead. Iwaizumi’s breath hitched, and he tilted his head up to look at Oikawa, who was staring at him like he couldn’t bear to look away. Pulling his hand away from Oikawa’s, Iwaizumi placed both hands on his chest instead, and Oikawa pulled him closer. “Let me show you how to feel, Iwa-chan.”

 And even before Iwaizumi could take a breath, Oikawa’s lips were against his own.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mAkEoUt SeSsIoN cOnTiNuEs NeXt ChApTer WOoooooOOO0000000
> 
> also! i got a twitter so if you'd like to check that out i'm @ urlocalgaylien hmu we can discuss daichi's thighs amongst other important stuff ;)
> 
> ily all have a great day and dont forget to comment leave kudos!!


	8. "big, hopeful, unblinking eyes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not leaving you," Iwaizumi cleared his throat and looked deep into Oikawa's eyes again. "Did you hear me, Oikawa? I am not leaving you."
> 
> Oikawa gazed at Iwaizumi with big, hopeful, unblinking eyes. "Not tonight?"
> 
> Iwaizumi pulled him closer, and squeezed his shoulder. "Not ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i aM BACK AND I BRING FLUFF IN OFFERING
> 
> also someone shove oikawa up my ass thI S FIC HAS 1K READS IM GOING TO S C R E A M
> 
> thank you all so much for reading!!! i love that you guys are enjoying this story and i promise you that this fic will only get better (or will it?) 
> 
> enjoy this chapter bros!!

Iwaizumi was like a heartbeat.

He was there, he was Oikawa's, even if it was just for a minute. He raced through his veins, encircled his body, and most importantly, he kept Oikawa alive without even realising.

And he was so soft, so warm, Oikawa never wanted to pull away. He wanted to keep Iwaizumi like this, to have him against his body, to have his arms encircling his waist, to have the other boy's hands on his chest and hair and everywhere.

"Oikawa—" Iwaizumi pulled away and looked down. "I-I don't know if we should be doing this."

Oikawa sighed, and pushed Iwaizumi's head up. "I'm pretty sure you do, Iwa-chan."

"I don't know anything, anymore." Iwaizumi tried to take his hands away, but Oikawa held them to his chest. Iwaizumi blushed nervously.

"That's okay, I think." Oikawa didn't know how to calm someone down, how to reassure them. That was Iwaizumi's forte. "As long as you know that," He smiled softly at Iwaizumi who bit his lip. "I have been dreaming about this since forever, then it's okay."

"Yeah, but," Iwaizumi shook his head. "I can't—I don't want to think anymore."

"Then don't think," Oikawa grinned, eyes shining. "Just do."

Iwaizumi laughed and shook his head. "You really don't know when to quit it, Oikawa."

Oikawa brought the other boy's face to his and stared into his eyes. They were dark, still, but he couldn't tell if it was because of nerves or lust. "You're right," He whispered. Iwaizumi closed his eyes, letting the sound take over him. "I guess I'll just have to keep going, then."

"You idiot," Iwaizumi mumbled, but he was the one who closed the gap between them, resting a palm on the other boy's neck to pull him closer. He could feel Oikawa smiling into the kiss, and Iwaizumi had to fight hard to keep one out himself.

Oikawa was so much more gentle than he'd thought. He was soft, and slow, and everything he did made Iwaizumi crave more. His hands were nimble but strong (because Oikawa was so strong, goddamnit.) and they ran through his hair easily. His eyes were so big and round, and constantly wide, like he couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Tooru," Iwaizumi's chest was heaving, and his hair was no doubt in a mess and his lips were definitely swollen, but it didn't matter because Oikawa was standing in front of him, and he made everything okay.

Oikawa raised his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah?" His voice was soft, like he was scared that any noise he made would ruin the momentum they had going, would ruin whatever they were.

"I—" Iwaizumi's voice caught and he looked down. Because Oikawa was the sun and he was just a comet in the way, vying for his attention. Because he claimed to be over him but now that he was here, he was all he could think, breathe, see.

Oikawa's eyes dipped down, like he knew what the other boy was thinking. "Hey," He whispered, threading their fingers together again. Iwaizumi closed his eyes, a shiver rushing down his spine. He hated how much control Oikawa had over him. "It's okay."

Iwaizumi took in a deep breath and nodded slowly, gathering whatever courage he had left. It didn't matter though, because Oikawa had seen him in ways he hadn't even seen himself, even if it was just a short period of time. And when Iwaizumi gave Oikawa the softest of smiles, one that told Oikawa that the other boy really did care about him, and that he did trust him, Oikawa could barely stand. Sure, he thought he'd seen the more vulnerable side of Iwaizumi, but this—

"Yeah," Iwaizumi's voice was wistful, like he was dreaming whilst awake. "It really is."

And this time, it was Iwaizumi that couldn't pull away from Oikawa.

\------------------

The sun had long set by the time either boys could pull away. The moon gave out a soft glow, not too bright, but just light enough to make out the other's face.

Oikawa's head lay gingerly on Iwaizumi's shoulder, pressed into his collarbone. His eyes were mostly closed, and his breathing was soft and even, like he was going to fall asleep. His hands lay in his lap, with his legs straight in front of him. And though he looked content, there was still a small part of him that worried the other boy would leave as soon as the sun rose. But he needn't have; Iwaizumi couldn't leave even if he tried.

Iwaizumi had his arm around Oikawa's shoulders, and often pressed soft kisses to his forehead, as if to reassure him that he was still there. His other hand played with Oikawa's hair, as he tried to figure out what all this meant to him, and what it could possibly mean to Oikawa. His legs were crossed, and his eyes were closed, so that nothing around him could startle him and give him even a fleeting moment of regret. Because out all of the decisions that he had made in his life, this he was the most sure of.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa nuzzled closer into Iwaizumi's shirt, and the other boy could feel the wetness pooling into the cloth. Iwaizumi felt his heart breaking, and he didn't even try to stop it. "Please don't leave me."

Iwaizumi didn't respond, instead pushed the other boy's face up so that they were looking into each other's eyes. He pressed a kiss to Oikawa's lips, one that wasn't too rough, one that instantly calmed him down.

"I'm not leaving you," Iwaizumi cleared his throat and looked deep into Oikawa's eyes again. "Did you hear me, Oikawa? I am not leaving you."

Oikawa gazed at Iwaizumi with big, hopeful, unblinking eyes. "Not tonight?"

Iwaizumi pulled him closer, and squeezed his shoulder. "Not ever."

Oikawa arched his back and hummed. Closing his eyes, he felt a smile creep into his face, so he pushed it into Iwaizumi's shirt. It smelled of washing detergent and sweat and safety. Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist and pulled him into him so that he was sitting on his lap.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa sighed, and Iwaizumi swallowed. "You're so pretty, you know?" He didn't even give Iwaizumi a chance to respond, instead placed his lips on the other's neck. "You're so pretty here, and here, and oh God, Iwa-chan, over here—" He paused, his fingers gently brushing his Adam's apple, making Iwaizumi shiver. Oikawa kissed it.

Iwaizumi tightened his grip around Oikawa, who smiled softly. "If I'm pretty, Oikawa," He began, closing his eyes. "Then you're practically an angel from above. You're like," Iwaizumi took in a deep breath, "Absolutely gorgeous, you know?"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa's voice was strained and tight, like he was holding it back. He leaned into Iwaizumi's shoulder, burying his head even further.

"That's why—" Iwaizumi licked his lips. "—it hurts me when I see stuff like this," He lifted up Oikawa's skinny hand and pressed a soft kiss to it. "You're so beautiful, Oikawa, but you can't see it."

" _Please_ ," Oikawa pleaded, and Iwaizumi felt himself unravel.

"You have such a beautiful body, and you–you never eat and, I—" Iwaizumi's voice began to tremble, and Oikawa's eyes fluttered open, staring at the other boy in confusion.

A gasp escaped Oikawa's mouth when he saw the tears streaking down Iwaizumi's face. "I know it's dumb, Oikawa, to care so much about someone I practically just met." He closed his eyes, to try and stop the tears. "But, I don't know, it feels like I've known you longer. It feels like I've known you forever, and—"

A full-fledged sob shot out from Iwaizumi, and his shoulders began trembling. The tears were falling faster now, dampening the front of his shirt, and Oikawa wanted nothing more than to kiss it all away. His hands were shaking, Oikawa could feel them around his waist, so he wriggled out of Iwaizumi's embrace and changed positions so now he had Iwaizumi in his arms.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa kept his voice low, so as to not startle the other boy. Iwaizumi clutched his shirt, wringing the cloth in his wrists, as if he was trying to tear it from his body. "I-I didn't know it hurt you this much,"

"Are you kidding?" Iwaizumi hiccuped, and this time it was Oikawa's heart that began to break. "How could I not care about you? You–You showed up in my life, all of sudden, and then you were all there was to it. How could I not care?"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa's eyes widened, and he could feel the tears in his eyes. "I-"

"I know it's fucked up, and I know that I'm being weird, but—"

"Iwa-chan, I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *le gasp*
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments and have a great day ily all !! ^_^


	9. "use your words"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please," Iwaizumi let out a strangled sob, and he may have imagined it, but he saw Oikawa's hard exterior falter, even if it was just for a second. But it was gone in a flash, and he was glaring again. Iwaizumi felt the tears on his face.
> 
> "I thought I made myself clear," Oikawa growled again, and Iwaizumi sighed in defeat. Oikawa pointed towards the door. "Get out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100+ KUDOS THROW ME OFF A FUCKING LEDGE
> 
> thank you so much!! ngl this chapter probably isn't how i should thank you guys but i had to add some drama (lmao i say it like there's no drama in this story)
> 
> ily have a great day <3

_"Iwa-chan, I love you."_

Iwaizumi froze, every part of him coming to a standstill. His heart, however, was pounding wildly in his chest, so hard that he thought that it would burst out of his chest.

Oikawa's cheeks burned. "I-I meant, I—"

"I-uh just remembered something, actually." Iwaizumi's voice was cold and distant, and sent shivers down Oikawa's spine. The shorter boy stood up. "Some errand I have to run, uh, it's pretty urgent, you know, so—"

"You said you'd never leave me," Oikawa's voice was soft. Iwaizumi looked away.

"I—" Iwaizumi froze. Then he shook his head slowly, and ran a hand through his hair. "I did, didn't I?"

The boys glanced up at each other in silence before averting their gazes to the floor, a red tint lightly brushed on their cheeks. Iwaizumi tried to open his mouth, to speak, but he couldn't get the words to work.

"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi's head shot up to see a crestfallen Oikawa, his lanky frame collapsed, tears brimming in his eyes. The brunette shook his head fast, roughly scraping the heels of his palms across his eyes. "I shouldn't have said that, I—"

"Fuck yeah, you shouldn't have!" Iwaizumi yelled. He hadn't meant for it to come out as a shout, but a lot had happened in the past few hours, and he was only very barely ready to think about Oikawa liking him, forget _loving_ him.

Oikawa frowned, standing upright. It seemed Iwaizumi's anger was contagious, because Oikawa's usually smiling eyes and mouth were now cold and dead, and his lips warped into an ugly pout that Iwaizumi hoped to never see again. His fists were balled on his sides, and he closed his eyes, like he was trying not to punch him. The tears were long gone.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Oikawa yelled back, his voice thin and desperate. "I told you the fucking _truth_ , Iwaizumi, and if you can't handle that, then—"

"Can't _handle_ it?" Iwaizumi sneered. He hoped he still looked intimidating, despite Oikawa's few centimetres on him. "I can't handle it?" He laughed, shaking his head, but all the joy that was meant to be there was replaced by this venomous poison in his voice that made Oikawa's stomach curl. "I've done nothing _but_ fucking handle it, Oikawa, I think you're the one at fault here."

"So _that's_ how you're going to classify my feelings, Iwaizumi?" Iwaizumi took a step back; Oikawa hadn't said 'Iwa-chan'. If this had happened anytime but now, he'd have been rejoicing. But under these circumstances, it seemed wrong and out of place, like Oikawa was pushing him away. He clenched his jaw. "A 'fault'? Wasn't it you that said you couldn't control how I felt?"

"Christ, Oikawa!" Iwaizumi raised his hands to the sky, like he was expecting a lightning bolt to appear from out of the blue and zap the two of them. "If you're going to say something, at least make it _your own word_ s. Quit using mine!"

"If you didn't want your words used against you, then you shouldn't have said them!" Oikawa folded his arms, but he didn't look tired. In fact, he looked more revved up and angry than Iwaizumi'd ever seen him. "And _excuse me_ , for ever thinking this could ever be a normal thing!"

" _Normal_?" Iwaizumi couldn't stop now, even if he wanted to. "No _normal_ person would fall in love this fast!" He took a step closer to Oikawa, a finger in his face. His heart was pounding, probably a sign telling him to stop, but he was too far gone now. "Only freaks do that! Freaks like you! And I _hate_ freaks!"

Silence hung heavy in the air between them. Oikawa's mouth was open, all the blood rushing from his face to his palms, which were now bright red and shaking. His lips were quivering, and he bit hard on them, trying to get them stop, but drew blood instead. Iwaizumi dropped his hand.

"Oikawa," His voice was a soft whisper. He still couldn't get Oikawa to look at him. "Your lip is bleeding."

Oikawa looked up at him then, and Iwaizumi practically jumped at the absolute hurt in his eyes. They were so clouded over, so dull and faded, so far gone the light couldn't even reach his eyes anymore, not even if you lit fires in them. Iwaizumi hated that; he hated that he did that. He tried to reach for Oikawa's chin, to fit it's point in his palm and pull it closer to him, to demolish the space between them and pretend none of this had ever happened, but Oikawa pulled away.

Oikawa pulled away.

Iwaizumi tried to digest the rejection. "I—"

But he didn't get to finish his sentence, because the second he opened his mouth, Oikawa's fist was colliding with his jaw. _He can throw a good punch_ , Iwaizumi thought, as he felt the blood trickling down his chin, and then he felt disgusted with the thought. Because here Oikawa was, _punching_ him the fucking face, and all he could think was about he could _throw a good punch_?

"Oikawa!" Iwaizumi yelled, but didn't do anything to defend himself, which Oikawa noticed. "What the _fuck_?"

"Get out," Oikawa's voice a low growl, as if he were hungry and Iwaizumi was all he could eat. His eyes gleamed, but not with its usual spark. It was more like the fire before an explosion, like he was going to swallow a forest whole. Iwaizumi stepped back as Oikawa flashed him a twisted, warped smile. " _Get out_."

"Oikawa, I'm so—"

"No, you're not." Oikawa's chest was heaving with rage, his eyes darkening by the second. "If you were sorry," He spat, "You wouldn't have done what you did. Said what you said. Hurt who you hurt." He paused, looking directly into Iwaizumi's eyes, properly, for the first time that night. "Me."

" _Please_ ," Iwaizumi let out a strangled sob, and he may have imagined it, but he saw Oikawa's hard exterior falter, even if it was just for a second. But it was gone in a flash, and he was glaring again. Iwaizumi felt the tears on his face.

"I _thought_ I made myself clear," Oikawa growled again, and Iwaizumi sighed in defeat. Oikawa pointed towards the door. "Get _out_."

"Fine, but I just—" Oikawa looked away, and the explanation fell apart in his hands. "I'm sorry, Oikawa."

Oikawa scoffed, looking down on him. "No, you're not."




**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...i'm so sorry all hate is acceptable i have done a great wrong
> 
> ((but don't forget to leave kudos and comments though))


	10. "never good enough"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There're still times when I doubt myself." Makki sighed, closing his eyes. "Times when I just feel like packing my stuff up and leaving to somewhere where Mattsun can't find me. Because, even if you're in a relationship, that stuff doesn't just disappear." Iwaizumi looked away. "But that's okay, I guess, because as long as someone loves you, they'll give you the support and strength you need to see it to a day when you'll be okay. And it's the hope that Mattsun will be the one who'll do it for me that keeps me going."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i initially considered adding kunimi & kindaichi to this chapter but then i thought nah the gay might get too intense
> 
> this chapter's a little filler, just because i feel like i've neglected to the makki/mattsun in this story (do they have a ship name??)
> 
> ++ i love that you guys are so into the story, it really does motivate me to write more, so thank you.
> 
> enjoy!!

The next morning when Oikawa woke up, his knuckles were aching.

Oikawa winced as he looked at it, but not because of the pain. More because of the dried blood dotted on them. And not just any blood—Iwaizumi's blood. Groaning, he pulled the sheets over his head.

He knew that was the wrong thing to do. He knew he should've let Iwaizumi be angry for a while, before everything went back to normal. But it just seemed so unfair, how Iwaizumi was so mad at him for being in love with him—hell, wasn't it a good thing? Then why did he glare at him with daggers practically flying out of his eyes?

And it wasn't like it was something he'd said in the spur of moment. It was careful and calculated; he knew what he was saying. But, God, he didn't know it'd blow up this bad. Sure, he didn't expect Iwaizumi to get all teary-eyed, sweep Oikawa up in his arms, and proclaim his hidden infatuation for him, but _this_...

"Get over it," He snapped to himself, mustering the courage to get out of bed. "Iwa-chan was wrong, and you know it."

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and swung his legs so that he could get out of bed. He rubbed his eyes and stumbled into the bathroom, splashing water on his face before looking at himself hard in the mirror. "Listen to me, Tooru." He ordered the mirror. "You are not going to think about him at _all_ today, okay? You are not going to think about Iw—no, don't even say his name. He is not worth your time, you hear me?" Oikawa paused, looking at himself in the mirror. Then he nodded curtly. "Good. Let's get breakfast."

But before he could even distract himself with food, he saw the cookies lying out on the counter and felt his stomach churn. Iwaizumi'd never been able to taste the cookies.

"That's great," Oikawa grumbled, placing them into a plastic container. "Not only does he _hate_ me, he also still thinks I can't bake."

Sighing, he flopped onto the couch. He turned the television on, mindlessly flicking through random channels, his mind buzzing. Eventually, he settled on some random alien movie (it was fine; he'd seen it before.) and pulled a cushion to his chest.

He'd been in love with Iwaizumi for so _long_ , God. He was his every waking thought, in every dream he had, he was taking over his entire life even before Iwaizumi knew his name. Oikawa loved everything about him: his strong arms, the way the clenched when he was mad, his eyes, the way they crinkled in the corner when he smiled (albeit very rarely), his lips, the way they'd tug gently when he was trying not to smile when Oikawa made some sort of pun about aliens.

Oikawa wasn't dumb; he knew he couldn't expect Iwaizumi to instantly fall in love with him. He knew he had to sit and wait for the other boy to relax around him, to even begin liking him. But when Iwaizumi kissed him, when Iwaizumi put his hands on Oikawa's chest and swore never to leave, something in Oikawa broke. It was like all the emotion came pouring out at once, taking over any last bit of common sense he had. It turned him stupid; turned him into putty in Iwaizumi's hands.

Biting his lip, Oikawa raked a hand through his hair. The worst part of all of this was, even if he'd been given a chance to take it all back, to go back in time and stop himself from saying those three words, he wouldn't do it. Because he couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't hide how he felt. He loved Iwaizumi, he really, _truly_ did, and he couldn't keep something that big from him.

He only hoped that Iwaizumi was as torn about this as he was.

\--------

"Okay, let me get this straight," Makki repeated, massaging his temples. "Oikawa told you he _loved_ you, and you thought the best response was to tell him you _hated_ him?"

"I know it was wrong," Iwaizumi glared into his drink. The three boys were currently at a restaurant-slash-bar where Mattsun worked, where Iwaizumi was telling the strawberry haired boy about what had happened the night before. "That's _why_ I'm asking you for help, you idiot."

"Oh my God," Makki leaned back in his chair in disbelief. He looked back at Mattsun who was cleaning a table. "Babe! Our baby has sinned!"

"Shut _up_ ," Iwaizumi hissed, his ears turning red. He could feel customers' eyes on him. "I am _not_ your baby."

"God, Makki, keep it down," Mattsun came over to them, an apron around his waist and a notepad in his hand. "I'm at work, don't yell stuff out like that."

Makki pouted, crossing his arms. "So? I can't talk to my boyfriend while he's working?"

Mattsun rolled his eyes. "Okay, look, I'm sorry." He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Makki's forehead, who beamed. "I get off in about ten minutes, tell me then, yeah?"

"Fine," Makki agreed, unfolding his arms. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "But hurry up, I wanna leave already."

Iwaizumi stared hard at the table as Mattsun walked away, taking another table's order, following the wood patterns with his eyes. Makki's gaze softened. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Iwaizumi looked up, an eyebrow raised. "Huh?"

Makki smiled, shaking his head, as if Iwaizumi was a five-year-old who couldn't understand what he was saying. "Oikawa. You care about him, a lot more than you think."

"No," Iwaizumi replied immediately, frowning. "I just–I feel bad about being so rude, that's all."

"Iwaizumi," Makki's gaze flickered over to Mattsun for a split second, before reaching Iwaizumi again. "I know how you feel. Believe me, you're not the only one who's been through this."

"Oh, please," Iwaizumi waved him off, sipping his drink. "You don't have to pretend to be Oprah all the time, you know?"

"When I first saw Mattsun," Makki continued, ignoring Iwaizumi. "I knew it was love at first sight. He was everything I'd wanted and more, and thankfully, he wanted me too." Makki bit his lip and looked down. "But I was scared."

The frown melted off Iwaizumi's face. "Scared?"

Makki nodded, swallowing. He looked over at Mattsun again, who was trying to balance three plates on his forearm. "I didn't know if it was legit or not, you know? There was constantly a voice in the back of my mind telling me that it was just a scam, that I never really would be good enough for Mattsun."

"That's dumb," Iwaizumi blurted. "Of course you're good enough, Makki."

Makki smiled softly. "Yeah, well, I didn't think so at the time. But eventually, I worked up the courage to tell Mattsun about how I was scared, and..." He trailed off, and Iwaizumi traced his loving gaze back to Mattsun, who was now laughing at something a coworker had said. Makki looked down, smiling at the table. "Well, needless to say, it worked out great."

"Makki, I didn't know—"

"There're still times when I doubt myself." Makki sighed, closing his eyes. "Times when I just feel like packing my stuff up and leaving to somewhere where Mattsun can't find me. Because, even if you're in a relationship, that stuff doesn't just disappear." Iwaizumi looked away. "But that's okay, I guess, because as long as someone loves you, they'll give you the support and strength you need to see it to a day when you'll be okay. And it's the hope that Mattsun will be the one who'll do it for me that keeps me going."

"Makki—"

"Hey guys," Mattsun jogged over to them, breathing heavily. Makki opened his eyes. "Sorry to keep you waiting, the guy who's taking the shift after mine ran a little late, so I had to cover for him. Asshole." He laughed, before frowning. "Makki, are you okay?"

Makki nodded, smiling. "Yeah, why?"

"No reason," Mattsun helped him up, and Makki leaned into his shoulder, burying his face into his shirt. Mattsun laughed, and Iwaizumi felt a pang of nostalgia. "You're such a dork, Makki."

"Aw, so _mean_!" Makki pouted, before grinning again. "But I'm _your_ dork, right?"

Mattsun chuckled again and pressed a quick kiss to Makki's lips. Makki's eyes fluttered shut. "You bet," He looked back over at Iwaizumi, who was stirring his drink. "Hey, we're gonna go see a movie, wanna come?"

Makki's eyes opened. "It's something about robots; I don't really remember but Mattsun wants to see it."

Iwaizumi shook his head and stood up, slipping his coat on. "Nah, I'm good. Today's cleaning day." He flashed a quick smile at the other boys. "You go, tell me how it ends."

Makki frowned. "Are you sure?" He shared a quick look with Mattsun, before looking back at him. "We don't mind."

"Really, I'm _fine_ ," Iwaizumi began heading towards the door. "Have fun!" He called out behind him.

_"As long as someone loves you, they'll give you the support and strength you need to see it to a day when you'll be okay."_

Iwaizumi smiled softly. It was a nice thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee when was the last time we had a chapter with no drama gosh
> 
> anyway, don't forget to leave kudos & comments, and have a great day!!
> 
> ily ❤️


	11. "universal tests"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I—" Oikawa looked away, tears filling his eyes. Iwaizumi's gaze softened. "God, it shouldn't be this hard."
> 
> Iwaizumi sighed. "I know," He shook his head, biting his lip. Oikawa tried hard not to burst out crying. "I know,"
> 
> "Then why?" A strangled sob escaped Oikawa, and he fell to the floor, his shoulders shaking. Not even a second later, Iwaizumi was crouched down next to him, rubbing his back soothingly. Oikawa gripped Iwaizumi's shirt, twisting the fabric in his palms, tears changing the colour of the shirt from a light blue to a darker shade. "Why is it so hard for us, Iwa-chan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: intense feels during this chapter. if you don't have tissues with you right now, i suggest you get some.
> 
> the comments last chapter were so lovely, i wanted to s c r e a m!!! you guys care about this story as much (if not more) as i do!! honestly, it motivates me so much so thank you!!
> 
> enjoy this chapter (*´▽`*)

"For fuck's sake, Makki, _no_ , you cannot actually find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. How did you even—oh," Mattsun paused, frowning. "There's someone here."

"Oh?" Makki hopped off the front desk, turning to see Oikawa walking through the front doors of the library, a meek expression on his face. "Oikawa-san? It's been a while!"

Oikawa looked around, confused, before locking eyes with Makki. He beamed, and flashed a quick peace sign. "Ah, Makki-chan! How have you been? Still with Hot babe-chan, I see?" He winked at Mattsun, who grinned sheepishly, looking at the floor. Makki laughed.

"Well, I gracefully took the responsibility of taking care of Mattsun when no one else wanted t— _ouch_!" Makki frowned, rubbing the spot where Mattsun had punched him. "Anyway, what brings you here?"

Oikawa's smile faltered. "I-uh, well—"

"Makki, if you don't shut up soon I'm gon—" Iwaizumi walked into the room, and the words died on his lips the minute he saw Oikawa, who looked away. Iwaizumi placed a hand on his neck and smiled softly. "Oikawa. Nice to see you again. I take you're doing well?"

Oikawa glared at the floor. How could Iwaizumi be so calm and collected, how could he pretend that nothing had happened between them? Oikawa had been up _all night_ , trying to think of an excuse to see Iwaizumi again, and he was asking if he was _doing well_?

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Oikawa shrugged, staring at his shoes. Iwaizumi nodded slowly, the awkward tension easing up on him. Makki cleared his throat.

"Um, well, Mattsun and I are going to go now. We've been wanting to check out that new Korean barbecue restaurant down the road for a while now, so we better get going if we wanna make it in time for lunch!" Makki beamed, pulling Mattsun towards the door.

Iwaizumi frowned. "I thought you hated—"

"What? _No_!" Makki laughed, his voice shrill. Mattsun rolled his eyes. "I love Korean! Iwaizumi, you take care of the library, okay?"

Oikawa looked away. Iwaizumi sighed. "Makki, can you n—"

"Oikawa-san, sorry to leave you so soon!" Makki apologised, practically dashing out the door. "But it was nice to see you again; maybe we can chat later?"

"Uh, sure." Oikawa mumbled, waving awkwardly as the door slammed shut, shrouding the library in silence. Iwaizumi swallowed.

"So," Iwaizumi muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Oikawa crossed his arms.

"So," He repeated, nodding his head softly. Iwaizumi sighed. "It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah, it's been, what," Iwaizumi paused, counting on his fingers. "A week? Two?"

"Hmm, I guess so." Oikawa looked around the abandoned library, kicking at a pile of dust. "No one come round?"

Iwaizumi laughed, and Oikawa tried not to flinch at the way his shoulders heaved. It didn't work. "How'd you guess?" He grinned, shaking his head. Oikawa looked down. "Anyway, wanna help me put these books away?" He asked, pointing to a pile of books. Oikawa frowned.

"What is it with you, making me do all your work?" He whined, but helped anyway. The two of them shelved books in silence, until Iwaizumi let out a heavy sigh.

"I can't _do_ this," He muttered, a book falling from his fingers. Oikawa watched as it fell to the ground.

"What do you mean? You want me to put those away too?" Oikawa pointed at Iwaizumi's stack of books. Iwaizumi glared back at him.

"Don't fuck with me, Shittykawa. I can't pretend like nothing happened any longer." Iwaizumi huffed.

_Thank goodness, neither could I._ "No one asked you to, Iwa-chan." He shrugged, putting the books down, and closed his eyes. Iwaizumi's eyes widened.

"You–You called me Iwa-chan," He breathed, eyes glittering. Oikawa opened one eye.

"Yeah? I always call you Iwa-chan." Iwaizumi shook his head, grinning stupidly, and pulled Oikawa to his feet. "Um, what're you doing?"

Iwaizumi didn't respond, instead slipped his fingers through the gaps in Oikawa's hand. Oikawa's eyelids dipped forward like he was drowsy, and he let out a soft sigh. Iwaizumi kept going then, rubbing Oikawa's outer palm with his fingers, tracing lazy circles on them that made Oikawa fight back the urge to tackle the other boy to the ground.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa gasped, and Iwaizumi paused, afraid of doing the wrong thing. Oikawa bit his lip. "What are you doing?"

"I've missed you, you idiot." Iwaizumi's voice was a low rumble, and Oikawa closed his eyes. "I've missed doing this—" He cupped Oikawa's cheek with his other hand, making Oikawa sigh again. "And this—" He pulled his hand away from Oikawa's and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him into his chest.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa's voice was giving away, he could feel the lust pumping through his veins. "What are you _doing_?"

"But most of all, Oikawa," Iwaizumi's eyes flickered up to Oikawa's lips, then looked back down. "I've missed doing _this_."

"Stop it," Oikawa stepped back, his eyes hard and cold. Iwaizumi looked down at the floor. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _me_?" Iwaizumi repeated, scoffing. He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yeah, but, you can't just take back all of it like that!" Oikawa yelled, and Iwaizumi closed his eyes. "You can't just come back and hold me and pretend that I'm okay with it!"

"Okay, fine," Iwaizumi crossed his arms and sighed. "I won't."

Oikawa frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Tell me what's wrong, Oikawa." Iwaizumi's voice went hard and serious, and Oikawa couldn't look him in the eye. " _Tell_ me what you want."

"It's not that simple, Iwa-chan." Oikawa whispered, baking his head. Iwaizumi opened his eyes.

"You need to talk to me, Oikawa." Iwaizumi took Oikawa's hands in his own. "I can't read your mind. If you don't tell me, we're never gonna work."

"I—" Oikawa looked away, tears filling his eyes. Iwaizumi's gaze softened. "God, it shouldn't be this hard."

Iwaizumi sighed. "I know," He shook his head, biting his lip. Oikawa tried hard not to burst out crying. "I _know_ ,"

"Then _why_?" A strangled sob escaped Oikawa, and he fell to the floor, his shoulders shaking. Not even a second later, Iwaizumi was crouched down next to him, rubbing his back soothingly. Oikawa gripped Iwaizumi's shirt, twisting the fabric in his palms, tears changing the colour of the shirt from a light blue to a darker shade. "Why is it so hard for us, Iwa-chan?"

"It's simple," Iwaizumi's voice was soft, but gruff at the same time, and Oikawa liked it because it reminded him that his Iwa-chan was still somewhere in there. "The universe is testing us."

Oikawa looked up painfully. "Testing us?" He repeated, hiccuping. "Why would it do that?"

"Well," Iwaizumi readjusted so that both boys were in a more comfortable position. He ran a hand through Oikawa's hair, who only closed his eyes and hummed in response. "You see, the universe knows that we care about each other, it just wants to know how much." He paused, lifting Oikawa's chin with his palm. "And I think we should let it know."

Oikawa giggled quietly, lightly hitting Iwaizumi's broad chest. "God, Iwa-chan, you're such a sap."

"Oh please, you can't even cut me five minutes of slack, Shittykawa?" He snapped, but there was no venom in his voice. Shaking his head, he leaned forward so that their foreheads were touching. "I've missed you so much, Tooru."

Oikawa sighed, nodding softly. "It's killing me to be away from you, Iwa-chan." His voice broke at the end, and Iwaizumi winced, pulling him closer. "I need you here."

"I promised that I'd never leave," Iwaizumi whispered, and pushed his face onto Oikawa's. "I'm not about to break it now."

-

  
Oikawa was human. He had ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, one nose, and one heart, just like Iwaizumi.

Oikawa was human, but he seemed like so much more.

Because there was no way a human could make you crave so much, there was no way a human could reach up to the back of your neck and pull you down in one swift motion that makes you want to swoon.

Oikawa was human, but to Iwaizumi he was so much more.

-

Iwaizumi was his hero.

Iwaizumi was what kept him going, was what made him feel safe. If anyone had to be his hero, it would be Iwaizumi.

Oikawa couldn't live without Iwaizumi. He needed to have Iwaizumi with him to keep him sane. Iwaizumi was what kept him going.

He only hoped that Iwaizumi knew that.

-

Iwaizumi couldn't tell what Oikawa was thinking.

But he'd stopped trying. He figured that right now, at this very moment, he didn't need to know. Because Oikawa's mouth was like an ocean, putting out any spark of thought.

Oikawa was like an ocean; he made up Iwaizumi's whole world.

-

"What are we?" Oikawa's voice was scared and timid, and he nearly cried in relief when Iwaizumi held him tight. "Where does this leave us?"

"We're perfect," Iwaizumi replied, his eyes fluttering shut. "In this moment in time, all we are is _perfect_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cute cute cuT E
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments + have a great day!!
> 
> ily! ヽ(*⌒▽⌒*)ﾉ


	12. "months, or even years"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No way," Iwaizumi pushed him off, and got off the bed. "I'm hungry, and saying your name doesn't help with anything."
> 
> "No, you're right." Oikawa smirked, and followed the other boy to the kitchen. "People usually say my name when they're thirsty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay so i was writing this n i had a weird thought: are my updates too frequent for y'all? like, am i bombarding you guys with updates??? 
> 
> anyway enjoy this chapter ily!!

Oikawa wasn't used to waking up with someone next to him— _especially_ if said someone was Iwaizumi Hajime, aka the man of his dreams. It was a nice surprise.

The two boys had found themselves stumbling up the stairwell and into Oikawa's apartment last night, as the moon watched down on them. They'd barely been able to keep their hands off each other, but nothing _explicit_ had happened; they'd just kissed a lot, and at some point, Iwaizumi's shirt had come off as well.

Oikawa stared down at the sleeping man in his arms. Iwaizumi had high, shining cheekbones, pillars that held up his face. His cheeks were soft and smooth, with just a little stubble on the chin, and the sun reflected off of it. And his eyelashes— _God_ , they were the prettiest thing Oikawa'd ever seen. They were long and full, straight but slightly curled in at the edges. Each strand held a purpose, each strand meant the whole world to Oikawa.

Shuffling closer, Oikawa pressed a soft kiss to Iwaizumi's cheekbone. He watched as his charcoal lashes fluttered open, revealing his hazel eyes. Usually, hazel would be a relatively normal eye colour, but Iwaizumi's eyes held a colour you couldn't describe in any way but _Iwaizumi_.

"Good morning," Oikawa beamed, and he realised it was the first time in a long time that he'd actually meant it. Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes.

"Morning," Iwaizumi mumbled, and Oikawa swallowed, trying not to tackle the other boy into the bed and shower him in kisses. "What time is it?"

Oikawa shrugged. "There's probably still time for a quick brunch. You want anything?"

Nodding, Iwaizumi sat up in bed. He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Oikawa's lips, sending him into an ecstasy of happiness. "Yeah, uh, what do you have? Actually, never mind." Iwaizumi shook his head. "I can't trust you to cook. You'd probably burn the house down."

Oikawa pouted, crossing his arms like a five-year-old. "You take that back!" He yelled, frowning. "I shelter you in my lovely home and this is how you repay me? Mean, mean, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi laughed, and Oikawa felt his resolve melt. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Tooru." He raised his hands, like he was surrendering. "I'm still cooking, though."

Oikawa leaned forward and kissed Iwaizumi, who stumbled back in surprise, beet red. "Say it again," The brunette purred, licking his lips.

"Say what again?" Iwaizumi asked, an eyebrow raised. Oikawa rolled his eyes.

"My name—my given name." He crawled onto Iwaizumi's lap and rested his forehead in the nape of his neck. "Say it again."

"Tooru," Iwaizumi muttered, pulling Oikawa in for a long, sweet kiss, one that left the both of them breathless.

"Again."

"Tooru."

"Ag—"

"No way," Iwaizumi pushed him off, and got off the bed. "I'm hungry, and saying your name doesn't help with anything."

"No, you're right." Oikawa smirked, and followed the other boy to the kitchen. "People usually say my name when they're _thirsty_." He winked, making Iwaizumi gag.

"Oh my _God_ , Oikawa." Iwaizumi breathed, shaking his head. "I hate you so much."

"Aw, Iwa-chan, don't be so mean!" Oikawa laughed. Then, before Oikawa could stop himself, he opened his big, fat, stupid mouth. "You know you love me!"

Iwaizumi stared at the floor, guilt tarnishing the features that Oikawa loved. He swallowed, licking his lips, fiddling with his hands like he didn't know what to say. The 'good morning' Oikawa had woken up to was rapidly dissolving, and he didn't know how to save it.

"Let's just," Iwaizumi sucked in a deep breath and laced his fingers with Oikawa, who looked down. "Let's just get some breakfast, okay?"

"Okay." The two boys walked in silence to the kitchen, and neither said a word until Iwaizumi pulled the eggs and some milk out of the fridge, when Oikawa piped up again. "Iwa-chan?"

"Hmm?" Iwaizumi continued making the eggs, humming softly to himself. Oikawa found himself losing his train of thought, instead watching Iwaizumi cook.

"Do you, uh, do you still hate freaks?" Oikawa looked down as he listened to Iwaizumi turn the stove off. "Freaks like me?"

" _Oikawa_ ," Iwaizumi over enunciated each syllable, filling the room with just his voice. "Why're you asking me this?"

"I—" Oikawa felt tears in his eyes, and bit his lip. _Calm down_ , he told himself, _It's just Iwa-chan you're talking to_. But deep down, he knew that was _why_ he couldn't say a word. "It's just—we may have, you know, made up yesterday, but it doesn't erase the fact that—"

"I know," Iwaizumi put the pan down on the kitchen counter and rested his head in his hands. " _God_ , I know. I was hoping you wouldn't bring it up, but that's dumb, because we do need to talk about it."

"Not really," Oikawa shrugged, lifting his head, but not his eyes. "We don't have to, really, as long as—"

"No." Iwaizumi shook his head, cutting him off, and Oikawa felt his head drop down. Of course they did. "You deserve to know. And I–I need to tell you."

"Tell me?" Oikawa repeated. "Tell me, what?"

"What you're signing up for." Iwaizumi's voice was soft, like he was scared of Oikawa. Oikawa hated that. He never wanted to hear it come out of Iwaizumi's mouth ever again. "I know you, uh, really like me, but I'm not like you." Iwaizumi looked away. "It takes me months, even years, to fall in love, and after that, I get so clingy and annoying that people just end up leaving."

Oikawa's head shot up. "What?" Iwaizumi swallowed.

"I don't want to hurt you, Oikawa, I-I care a lot about you." Iwaizumi's voice was shaking now, but neither boy pointed it out. "And if being with me could possibly hurt you, then I won't risk it. I won't risk being happy if it'll bring you down."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed. He liked to think he had quite an extensive vocabulary, but not a single word came to mind for him to say to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi closed his eyes.

"I've said this before, but I really _do_ care about you, Oikawa." Iwaizumi shook his head and sighed. "Maybe that's why I'm holding back around you."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa repeated. "Stop holding back."

Iwaizumi opened his eyes. "What?"

"Don't hold yourself back around me." Oikawa frowned, pursing his lip. "I want to be someone you can be comfortable around, because, well, I can always be myself around you, you know?"

Iwaizumi tilted his head back, and Oikawa watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. "Oikawa, don't."

"You make me feel at home, Iwa-chan." Oikawa held onto the nickname like a raft at sea, the only thing keeping this conversation from plunging into fiery flames of Oikawa's emotions. "No one else I've ever met has that quality. You're special, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa. "You know, in some cases, that could mean a really bad thing."

Oikawa shrugged, and grinned at Iwaizumi. "Well, then I mean it in the best way possible."

Iwaizumi frowned. "What is wrong with you?" He barked, and Oikawa's smile faltered. "You-You keep coming back to me, even when I hurt you. That's—it's crazy, Oikawa."

Oikawa looked Iwaizumi in the eyes, hard and long, and crossed his arms. "It's not like I have a choice, Iwa-chan. I love you."

Iwaizumi's breath hitched. "Stop saying that."

"I love you, Iwa-chan."

"Oikawa, I swear to God—"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa stepped forward. "Remember when I first told you I liked you?" Iwaizumi nodded, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I said that I'd wait for you, Iwa-chan, as long as you needed me to." Iwaizumi closed his eyes, and Oikawa pulled him closer to his body, pulling his chin up with the palm of his hand. Iwaizumi's breath was hot, and Oikawa could feel it brushing across his face, sending shivers down his spine. "That doesn't change now."

"There are so many ways this could go wrong, Oikawa. Too many to count." Iwaizumi shook his head and pushed his face back down, licking his lips. Oikawa pushed it back up.

"But there are also so many ways this could go right." Oikawa whispered, and Iwaizumi sighed. "So many ways, and I'll show you one."

\-----

Iwaizumi ended up having to make breakfast again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave kudos & comments; have a great day!!


	13. "gasping little noise"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi’s hands were trembling, so he pulled Oikawa’s shirt over his head, and lay his hands the cool skin. Oikawa’s skin was milky and clear, like smooth white paint. Iwaizumi wanted it to be his canvas; he wanted to make art on Oikawa’s skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 2am kill me no w
> 
> ok this chapter is vv short but!! its leadin up to something big so keep posted ;)
> 
> also ily all thnks for the comments ur such beans i l y
> 
> enjoy!!

Iwaizumi couldn’t get him out of his head.

Even when Makki and Mattsun were discussing stupid jokes, (though really it was just Makki talking and Mattsun occasionally nodding.) even when someone _actually_ came to the library, all Iwaizumi could think of was Oikawa.

The way he bit his lip when he was nervous, the way when he _really_ smiled, he would show his teeth, the way he acted so confident and cool, but deep down, all he needed was love. It was all Iwaizumi could think about.

He needed to tell Oikawa, and he needed to tell him now.

\--------

“Iwa-chan! What a nice surprise!” Oikawa laughed, opening his front door to reveal a soaking wet Iwaizumi, who had just happened to be caught in a storm without even a leaf for cover. “What’re you doing here?”

Iwaizumi removed his coat and dropped it on the floor, grabbing Oikawa by the shoulders and pushing him against the wall. The dull _thud!_ of skin hitting cement echoed in the room, even when their lips met each other with so much passion that if you were to strike a match in the room, it would explode.

Oikawa’s hands were snaking up Iwaizumi’s shirt, gently brushing against his toned chest and stomach, each touch sending sparks through Iwaizumi’s veins. Iwaizumi tangled his hands in Oikawa’s hair, not risking pulling away for a second. He need Oikawa, he _craved_ Oikawa, and this could very well be his last chance with him.

Iwaizumi’s hands were trembling, so he pulled Oikawa’s shirt over his head, and lay his hands the cool skin. Oikawa’s skin was milky and clear, like smooth white paint. Iwaizumi wanted it to be his canvas; he wanted to make art on Oikawa’s skin.

Their tongues met each other almost forcefully; Iwaizumi’s cold like ice and Oikawa’s hot like fire. They were opposites, polar opposites, the fucking sun and moon. But maybe it was the fact that they were so unattainable each other that made it all the more worth it. Because Oikawa was killing everything Iwaizumi could even _begin_ to think, and he was more than okay with that.

OIkawa’s fingers were restless against Iwaizumi’s neck, tapping frantically as if he were trying to spell something out in morse code. They hit Iwaizumi so hard, he felt as if he would bruise up, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care because it was the closest he could ever get.

Iwaizumi kept making all these gasping little noises, like Oikawa was sucking the air out of him, which he practically was, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that Oikawa was his, not forever and for always, but for now. For now, for as long as it would last. For as long as Oikawa could go without running away.

Oikawa was a whole new world to Iwaizumi. He’d never seen anything like him before. He was out of his reach, with the stars, and he was practically living in hell. Because Oikawa made him feel like sinning. Like he _was_ sinning; like Oikawa was a sin.

Iwaizumi didn’t love him back, that was fine. But Iwaizumi liked him, Iwaizumi _cared_. Iwaizumi was there when he needed him most, said the words that came to Oikawa’s mind, was kissing him as soon as he closed his eyes. Iwaizumi didn’t love him back, but that was fine. His own love made up for it.

Oikawa was the sun. Oikawa gave him life. Oikawa was all that mattered, because he couldn’t fucking get him out of his head. Without Oikawa, everything was pointless. Because, for Iwaizumi, Oikawa _was_ the point.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa’s breath was sharp and ragged, and his chest was heaving. “What’s going on?”

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi shook his head, closing the gap between them. “Don’t think about now, or tomorrow, or yesterday. Don’t think at all.”

“Iwa- _chan_ ,” Iwaizumi’s lips latched onto Oikawa’s neck, and it took all his willpower to push Iwaizumi away. “Seriously, stop.” He looked at Iwaizumi. “What’s going on?”

“I- _fuck_ ,” Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair. “Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure.” Oikawa pointed towards the couch, frowning. They took a seat, the leather squeaking underneath them. “What’s wrong, Hajime?”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “Hajime?”

“Just thought I’d try it out,” Oikawa scrunched up his nose. “No?”

“No, it’s,” Iwaizumi swallowed. “I like it. Yeah.” Oikawa beamed, and Iwaizumi’s heart skipped a beat.

“Good.” He lay his head against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, and Iwaizumi tilted his head back, closing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something. Now.” Iwaizumi cleared his throat. “Before I forget, or back out, or decide it’s not important.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Oikawa seemed uneasy, on edge, and Iwaizumi wanted nothing more to smooth the wrinkles, but he didn’t know how. “Okay. Shoot.”

“I,” Iwaizumi took a deep breath. “Please don’t hate me for this.”

“Iwa-chan,” All the playfulness drained from Oikawa’s face, devouring his eyes. “I could never hate you.”

“You say that, but—”

“No.” Oikawa turned Iwaizumi’s head towards him. “I need you to listen to me. I will _never_ hate you. Ever. That’s what happens when you fall in love.”

“Fine, but you asked for this.” Iwaizumi leaned back into the couch, and bit his lip. “I’m already in a relationship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol im not even sorry about how much drama there is in this fic b y e
> 
> ((please do leave kudos & comments,, have a fantasTIC day!!!))


	14. "for the best"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Promise me, Iwa-chan." Oikawa's voice was hollow and cold. "Promise me you won't forget me."
> 
> Iwaizumi closed his eyes. "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha im a jerk wow
> 
> quick warning: there are some mentions of domestic violence in this chapter, so if you feel uncomfortable by that, i totally get it. you can comment down below, and i'll let you know what happens :-)
> 
> enjoy this chapter!!

_"I'm already in a relationship."_

Oikawa moved away from Iwaizumi so fast he practically teleported. His eyes were wide like saucers, and his hands were shaking.

"I–you— _what_?" Oikawa's voice was hoarse, thick from all the tension in his throat. Iwaizumi let his head fall forward.

"Momotani Junichiro." Iwaizumi whispered, swallowing. Oikawa watched his throat bob up and down. The throat that belonged to someone else. "We've been dating for what, three years now?"

"Th- _Three years_?" Oikawa stood up, his hands on his hips. "How could you—why would you throw that all away?"

"I _didn't_ ," Iwaizumi made a noise like he was being strangled, and ran a hand through his hair. "I haven't seen Junichiro in a good three months."

"Wh–What do you mean?" Oikawa sat down tentatively on the other end of the couch. Far, far away from Iwaizumi. "Why haven't you seen him?"

"He–he's in the navy." Iwaizumi said the words in a rush, like they were racing out of him. "I tried to break it up with him, because I just didn't love him anymore but—" Iwaizumi's voice caught and he had to clear his throat. He shook his head and swallowed.

"But, _what_?" Oikawa asked. Iwaizumi sighed.

Wordless, he lifted up the back of his shirt to show the scratches and scars on his back. A soft gasp escaped Oikawa's lips as his eyes followed the fading bluish-black smudges on Iwaizumi's otherwise flawless skin. He reached a hand out and traced them, noticing the way that Iwaizumi hissed when his fingers made contact with his skin. _I'm going to kill him,_ Oikawa thought. _I'm going to kill the man who did this to him, and I should._

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Wait—" Oikawa's eyes widened again, like he'd been hit by a sudden realisation. "Am I just a way for you to get back at him?"

"What? _No_!" Iwaizumi's voice was pure worry and honesty, and Oikawa felt himself relax. "God, no. I–I really do like you, Oikawa. But the reason I told you is because," Iwaizumi took in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "He's coming back into town. And he wants to see me."

Oikawa couldn't help the twang of heartache he felt in his chest. Of _course_ Iwaizumi'd pick Momotani. They had history—history was important in a relationship. Besides, they both knew what this guy was capable of. If this is what he did when Iwaizumi wanted to break up with him, what would he do if he found out he was dating Oikawa?

"Are—are you going to see him?" Oikawa's voice was small, like he was shrinking into himself. He felt his world shatter when Iwaizumi nodded.

"Oikawa, please understand, I—" Iwaizumi scooted closer to Oikawa and took his hands in his own. "I have no choice." His voice dropped low, and Oikawa shivered. "You–you saw what he did to me. You wouldn't want that to happen to me again, would you?"

"No, _no_ , of course not." Oikawa insisted, frantically shaking his head. "I just–isn't there any other way?"

"If there was, I would've used it by now." Iwaizumi stood up, and Oikawa might have been imagining it, but he saw tears in his eyes. "It's killing me, this, but I have no choice."

Oikawa stood up, and took Iwaizumi's chin in his palm. He pressed their lips together in what should've been a sweet kiss, if it didn't have the layers of hurt and desperation underneath. Iwaizumi pulled away, and lay his forehead against Oikawa's.

"Promise me, Iwa-chan." Oikawa's voice was hollow and cold. "Promise me you won't forget me."

Iwaizumi closed his eyes. "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

Oikawa watched, silent, as Iwaizumi stood up, pulling the other boy with him. Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa into him, wrapped his arms around the brunette's waist and let him place his head on his shoulder. He tried not to notice his shirt dampening, or the soft sobs escaping the other boy's lips. He tried to stop his heart from breaking.

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi whispered into his hair. Oikawa only held him tighter. "The sooner I leave, the less it'll hurt."

"I don't care." Oikawa's voice was soft, but hard, and Iwaizumi sighed. "I'm staying with you for as long as you can." He pulled away and studied Iwaizumi's face. "I can't believe I just got you to be mine, and then you're taken away from me."

"I can," Iwaizumi muttered, pressing his lips to Oikawa's forehead. Oikawa shut his eyes. "The universe's a jerk."

"It's just," Oikawa's hands skimmed Iwaizumi's neck, his shoulders, his back, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. Iwaizumi sucked in a deep breath. "God, I don't know how I'm going to go on without you, Iwa-chan."

"Tooru," Oikawa loved it when Iwaizumi used his given name. He didn't want to hear from anyone's mouth but his. "Don't say that. You know that it's for the best."

"Is it?" Oikawa pushed his head into Iwaizumi's collarbone. "Is it really? Because I can't even imagine a good day without you."

"You've done it before, you can do it now." Iwaizumi lifted Oikawa's head up and kissed him softly. "Until then, make the most of what we have."

"What _do_ we have?" Oikawa whined, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was still beautiful, to Iwaizumi, and nothing could ever change that.

"We have each other." Iwaizumi took Oikawa's hands and held them to his chest. "We have this moment in time, and it will always belong to us, no matter what. We have hopes, and dreams, and a whole life ahead of us."

"But you _are_ my hopes and dreams, Iwa-chan." Oikawa pouted. "You're all I want."

"I know," Iwaizumi sighed, shaking his head. "Oikawa, you need to let me go."

"How is this so _easy_ for you?" Something in Oikawa snapped, and he pushed Iwaizumi away, watching as he fell against the wall. Iwaizumi didn't look angry, or sad, he just looked distant. Oikawa collapsed to the ground, colossal sobs escaping him. He pulled his knees to his chest and cried, louder and harder than he'd ever done before. Because nothing had ever hurt him this much before.

"It's not," Iwaizumi's voice shook, and when Oikawa looked up, he was crouched down beside him. "I want to stay with you as long as I can. And I have. But it's time for me to go."

Oikawa gently traced the creases on the back of Iwaizumi's shirt. "Did I hurt you?" He asked, voice small. Iwaizumi smiled softly.

"No, I'm fine." He pressed a kiss to Oikawa's cheek, before standing up. Oikawa watched, teary-eyed. "Are _you_ okay?" He asked, helping Oikawa up. Oikawa shrugged.

"It hurts here," He replied, pointing to his chest. Iwaizumi sighed, and bent down, softly kissing Oikawa's chest, before working his way down. Oikawa closed his eyes and purred, love and lust coursing through his veins.

But it was over too soon, because Iwaizumi was standing up again. He'd stopped just above his navel, but to Oikawa, Iwaizumi had seen and done it all. "Here," Iwaizumi kissed his fingers and pressed them to Oikawa's lips. "Keep this. Use it when it hurts."

Oikawa touched his lips softly, and nodded. He tried to smile, but he could already tell it wasn't working. "I will. Take care, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi stopped at the door, and turned to flash a quick smile at Oikawa. "You too, Tooru."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of the main reasons i added momotani (iwa's boyfriend) was cause i wanted a character we could all hate together down in the comments ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos and comments, ily all!! ❤️


	15. "well, that's dumb"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How'd you get so lucky, Akaashi?" Oikawa whined, gesturing towards him and Bokuto. "How come you guys had no problems?"
> 
> Akaashi raised an eyebrow. "Don't say what you don't know, Oikawa-san."
> 
> "What do you mean?"
> 
> "Bokuto-san's parents are homophobic. I'm asexual." Akaashi shrugged, and looked down at Bokuto, who was already asleep. "There's no such thing as a relationship without problems, you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil side chapter with some bokuaka fluff because bokuaka is mY JAM BROS
> 
> this is a more chill chapter but feel free to come at me for all the drama that happened last chapter lmao
> 
> enjoy!!

"Oikawa! G'morning!" Bokuto laughed, inviting himself into the apartment, Akaashi not too far behind. "You didn't reply to my texts so I thought I'd come to check on you!"

"'Kay." Oikawa pushed his face further into the couch pillows, not in the mood to put with Bokuto. Actually, he wasn't in the mood to put up with anything lately, after Iwaizumi had left him. He didn't go out, he didn't flirt with anyone, hell, he didn't even do his _hair_ in the mornings. That's how bummed out he was.

"Can I use your fridge? Akaashi says we should 'eat healthy', so we don't have any— _oh_ , chips!" Bokuto giggled to himself, pulling out a plastic chips container. "Don't mind if I _do_!"

"Shut up, Bokuto-san." Akaashi mumbled, his voice dull. He took a seat on the couch and patted his lap, and Oikawa gratefully pushed his head in it. "So," Akaashi asked, running a hand through his hair. "How've you been?"

Akaashi was one of the only people that Oikawa could talk to when it came to this stuff. Bokuto offered his support, sure, but he tended to get a little... _distracted_. "I'm okay," Oikawa sighed, closing his eyes. "Not good, not bad, but okay."

Akaashi smiled softly. "That's good to hear. It's nice to see you're getting better." He readjusted to a more comfortable position, and hummed a tune under his breath. Oikawa groaned.

"God, why does this have to be so hard?" He whined, and Akaashi clicked his tongue. "We literally only dated for like, a _day_ , but—"

"Shh," Akaashi interrupted, moving his hands to smooth out the frown that had consumed Oikawa's forehead. Oikawa felt himself give in to Akaashi, albeit reluctantly, and whimpered. "Talk to me."

"I mean, obviously I liked Iwa-chan for a long time, but I didn't think it got _this_ bad!" Oikawa moaned. Akaashi sighed.

"You're in love, Oikawa-san." He reasoned, his deft fingers pulling at Oikawa's skin. "That's what happens when you're in love with someone."

"But I don't wanna," Oikawa pouted, tired all of a sudden. He got up and looked over at Bokuto. "Hey, Bo, pass."

"Sure!" Bokuto tossed the packet to Oikawa, who caught it one hand. Akaashi shook his head and shot a look at Bokuto, who frowned. "Uh, Oikawa, is something wrong?"

"God, not you too." Oikawa glared at Akaashi, who shrugged. "I'm _fine_ , really. Just tired, that's all."

Bokuto raised an eyebrow, before grinning. "It's okay, Oikawa. Good ol' Bokuto's gonna give you advice." He shot finger guns at Oikawa, and Akaashi rolled his eyes. "Whatcha need, bro?"

"Nothing, seriously, I just—"

"The love of his life left him for another guy because turns out he had a boyfriend the whole time." Akaashi deadpanned, making Oikawa's jaw drop. He offered him a small smile and stole a chip off him. Bokuto's eyes glittered.

"Why didn't you say so? Is this about that Iwasaki guy?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Oikawa glared back at him.

"It's _Iwaizumi_. Seriously." Finally, he just decided to give in and tell Bokuto, seeing that if Oikawa didn't get it done, Akaashi most certainly would. "He left me."

"What?" Bokuto yelled, making Oikawa wince. Akaashi lay Oikawa's head back on his lap and ran his hand through his hair, shooting a glare at Bokuto. "Oh, sorry."

"It's fine," Oikawa sighed, waving him off. Akaashi looked at him worriedly, but Oikawa chose to ignore it. "He has this super jerky boyfriend, who like, beats him up and stuff, and he's back in town, so he has to break up with me or the jerky boyfriend'll beat him up again."

"Oh, damn." Bokuto muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Why didn't he just break up with the jerky boyfriend?"

"Couldn't." Oikawa shrugged, though everyone in the room knew it wasn't such a nonchalant thing to talk about. He closed his eyes. "He tried, but the boyfriend beat him up. Lucky for him, the guy's the navy, so he got a break for a while."

"Jeez," Bokuto shook his head. Akaashi nodded sympathetically.

"Why couldn't Iwaizumi-san still secretly date you on the side, Oikawa-san?" Akaashi asked gently, not wanting to upset his friend. Oikawa shrugged again.

"Dunno." He admitted, sighing. "But I get the idea that if we did, you know, secretly date, the boyfriend would actually kill Iwa-chan."

"Well, that's dumb." Bokuto muttered, and this time both Akaashi and Oikawa sent daggers flying his way. "What? I'm just saying, couldn't Iwaizumi just like, report him or something?"

"Did you not hear me, Bo?" Oikawa asked, sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "The guy's in the navy. He's a pretty darn good soldier too. The government's not going to involve themselves anything that could potentially stop the guy from working for them."

"Oh," Bokuto visibly deflated, like a balloon. Akaashi patted the seat next to him, and Bokuto lay his head on Akaashi's shoulder, leading Akaashi to press a soft kiss to Bokuto's forehead. "I didn't know."

"It's fine, Bokuto-san." Akaashi reassured him, and smiled when he felt Bokuto nod into his shoulder. He turned to Oikawa. "So, what're you gonna do?"

"There's nothing to do." Oikawa groaned, tilting his head back. "Even if the guy went back, and Iwa-chan came back to me, he's not gone forever. He's gonna come back eventually, and Iwa-chan's gonna have to leave again. And as much as I hate to say this, Iwa-chan was right—the best thing to do is call the whole thing off."

"Now _that's_ dumb." Bokuto and Oikawa shared a confused look before looking back at Akaashi, who simply shrugged. "You found someone who means a lot to you, Oikawa-san. I've never heard you talk about anyone the way you spoke about Iwaizumi-san." Akaashi ran a hand through Oikawa's hair and wrapped the other arm around Bokuto's waist. "It's dumb how you're so in love with this guy and yet you're letting him go."

"I—" Oikawa couldn't think of an argument, and crossed his arms, frowning. _Damn you, Akaashi_ , he thought. _Damn you and your accurate assumptions, you little shit._ "Okay, fine, it's a little dumb."

Akaashi smiled smugly, before turning his attention to Bokuto, who was tugging on his sleeve. "Hmm?"

"I'm tired," He pointed towards his hair and Akaashi sighed, but ran his hand through it anyway. Bokuto grinned, closing his eyes and snuggling up to Akaashi, and Oikawa couldn't help but notice the slight blush on Akaashi's cheeks.

"How'd you get so lucky, Akaashi?" Oikawa whined, gesturing towards him and Bokuto. "How come you guys had no problems?"

Akaashi raised an eyebrow. "Don't say what you don't know, Oikawa-san."

"What do you mean?"

"Bokuto-san's parents are homophobic. I'm asexual." Akaashi shrugged, and looked down at Bokuto, who was already asleep. "There's no such thing as a relationship without problems, you know."

"Oh," Oikawa looked down, embarrassed. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Akaashi brushed some hair off Bokuto's face, to which the other boy stirred but didn't wake. "Loads of people have problems, but they don't make it public, so I get that it seemed like we don't have any."

"Yeah, but," Oikawa bit his lip. "I'm not 'public', am I? You could've told me."

For the first time that day, Akaashi looked genuinely guilty. He played with Bokuto's hair, avoiding Oikawa's gaze. "I know. But, well, Bokuto-san and I knew that you were going through your own things, so we didn't want you to have our problems heaped on you as well." Akaashi grinned down at Bokuto. "It was Bokuto-san's idea, actually."

Oikawa raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Is that so?"

Akaashi nodded. "I told him you weren't doing so well, and he insisted I couldn't tell you." Oikawa felt a smile growing on his face. Bokuto wasn't as distracted as he'd led himself to believe. "I know you usually tell me this sort of stuff, Oikawa-san, but Bokuto-san cares a lot more than you think."

Oikawa couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face. He lay back down on Akaashi's lap and let the other boy card aimlessly through his hair.

Because while he may have lost Iwaizumi, he'd found what he'd forgotten: two best friends he wouldn't trade for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this friendship is sO important i might do a spinoff with when oikawa had an infatuation with iwa so idk tell me what you think
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments!! have a great day :-)


	16. "way too sweet"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, excuse me, sir." A waitress stopped by his table, handing him a coffee. "This is for you."
> 
> He could already tell it was way too sweet for his taste. Pushing it away, he looked back at the waiter, frowning. "I didn't order this." The waitress beamed.
> 
> "I know. It was that man," She pointed towards a tall man with bright red hair and the biggest muscles he'd ever seen. "He said to give it to you." Iwaizumi swallowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao buckle up we're goin on a crAZY ride now (tons of drama comin up don't say i didn't warn you)
> 
> we finally meet junichiro!!! let's all hate on him in the comments yeah!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯
> 
> enjoy this chapter!!

The weather seemed to reflect how Iwaizumi felt inside.

It was cold and rainy, and the clouds seemed to bar any possible fragment of light that even had the slightest chance of escaping. The wind was loud and annoying, too.

Iwaizumi gripped his coffee tight. Junichiro had told him to wait at this coffeehouse for him, and that he may take a while, seeing he had a meeting the day before. He'd sounded nonchalant and relaxed on the phone, but it still sent Iwaizumi's stomach churning. His calmness was like the quiet before the storm.

"Oh, Hajime?" Iwaizumi looked up to see the smiling face of Suga, one of Iwaizumi's closest friends from college. They'd met through Daichi, who was Iwaizumi's roommate at the time, and Suga's boyfriend. "What a nice surprise!"

"Suga," Iwaizumi beamed, glad to have a pleasant distraction. He peered behind the boy's shoulder. "Is Daichi around?"

Suga placed a hand to his heart. "Oh, Hajime, would you rather see Daichi than me?" He asked, affronted, before laughing at the worried look on Iwaizumi's face. "I'm _kidding_ , don't worry." He waved him off, and Iwaizumi breathed a sigh of relief. "No, Daichi's got this big project going on, so I just stopped by to get him some coffee. You know how he is; he barely got enough sleep last night."

Iwaizumi shook his head fondly. "This used to happen all the time in college. He'd leave all his big projects to the last day and then stress out over them." Iwaizumi looked up at Suga, who was sipping at his coffee. "Although, it did get better when he met you."

Suga's cheeks warmed, and Iwaizumi knew it wasn't because of the coffee. "Ah, Hajime, you're too kind." He looked around, an eyebrow raised. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Uh, yeah, actually." Iwaizumi looked down into his coffee. It was black. "I don't know if you remember him, but, uh, I'm waiting for Junichiro." Iwaizumi cleared his throat. "Uh, Momotani Junichiro."

Suga wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Oh, you're still going out with him?" He asked, head tilted to one side. "I want you to be happy, Hajime, but I'm not gonna lie, he didn't come off as a very nice man, you know."

Iwaizumi sighed. "Yeah, I know. He actually landed a pretty big part in the navy, so I only ever see him when he's in town." Suga nodded slowly.

"Okay," Suga got up, coffee in hand. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Gotta get these coffees to Daichi, or he might _actually_ collapse." He grinned at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi nodded, smiling back. "Yeah. See you soon, Suga." He pursed his lips. "Although, bring Daichi round next time. It'll do him good to see what sunlight feels like for a change."

Suga laughed his fairy laugh and tilted his head back. "Alright, we can do that. Bye, Hajime!" And with that, Suga left the coffeehouse, taking all the comfortable atmosphere with him. Iwaizumi shuddered. Was it just him, or did it actually get colder?

Shaking his head, he let out a sigh. Junichiro was late. He was starting to see why Suga didn't like him much.

"Oh, excuse me, sir." A waitress stopped by his table, handing him a coffee. "This is for you."

He could already tell it was way too sweet for his taste. Pushing it away, he looked back at the waiter, frowning. "I didn't order this." The waitress beamed.

"I know. It was that man," She pointed towards a tall man with bright red hair and the biggest muscles he'd ever seen. "He said to give it to you." Iwaizumi swallowed.

 _"Daichi, I just landed myself a_ really _hot boyfriend!"_

_"Yeah? What's he like?"_

_"His name's Momotani Junichiro. He's like, super tall, and he has bright red hair, and oh God, the biggest muscles I've ever seen!"_

Iwaizumi stood up, and tried to stop his hands from shaking. It didn't work. He stuffed them in his pockets instead, and walked past the waitress, who was beaming like she'd just found his soulmate. Junichiro beamed at him.

"Ah, _Hajime_!" He laughed, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi's body. Though Iwaizumi liked to consider himself pretty fit, compared to Junichiro, he was nothing. This man's muscles could swallow him whole. Iwaizumi smiled weakly.

"Junichiro," Iwaizumi laughed, breathless. "It's nice to see you again."

"Isn't it?" Junichiro tilted his head back and laughed again. Iwaizumi scowled at the floor. "Well, you're lucky I'm on a break, so I can come and visit you!"

"Yeah," Iwaizumi didn't lift his eyes. "Real lucky."

"Aw, Hajime, is something wrong?" Junichiro wrapped an arm around Iwaizumi's waist, and the latter tried not to flinch at the unwelcome contact. "Tell me, what's upsetting my little baby?"

 _Baby_. "Uh, Junichiro, I'd prefer you didn't call me that." Iwaizumi muttered, avoiding his gaze. Junichiro moved closer to his ear.

"Okay, I see how it is." Junichiro whispered, his breath hot on his ear. It wasn't a bit like Oikawa's, which was warm and sweet. Junichiro was sweltering and uncomfortable, and Iwaizumi hated it. "I'll call you that in _private_ ," He leaned back, laughing and wiggling his eyebrows. Iwaizumi tried not to grimace.

"So," Iwaizumi began, changing the topic. "How long are you in town?"

Junichiro frowned, counting days on his fingers. "Uh, a week, I think?" He mouthed a few numbers to himself, before nodding again. "Yeah, that's right. Sorry it's so hard on you, Hajime."

Don't bother. "No, it's fine," Iwaizumi waved it off, standing up. "Did you have something planned for us today?"

Junichiro stood up as well, glowering down at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi looked away. "Was I meant to have something planned?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. Grinning, he poked Iwaizumi's chest, nearly sending him flying across the room. "Aren't you the host?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." Iwaizumi sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't think of very many places that Junichiro would enjoy going to. "Well, what _would_ you like to do?"

Junichiro tilted his head to the side in thought. "It may come off as weird but, I'd like to read." He flashed a smile at Iwaizumi. "Unusual, I know, but a cabin mate introduced me to this series and, well, it was pretty good." He chuckled softly to himself. Iwaizumi swallowed.

"Lucky for you," Iwaizumi's gaze flickered up to Junichiro. He was smiling down at him like he was something he was going to eat later. Iwaizumi looked away. "I know just the place."

\-------

"—and this is the library." Iwaizumi opened the door to the library, with Junichiro peering behind him. His eyes lit up, and Iwaizumi had to look away. "You can borrow stuff, I guess, but don't—"

"Woah!" Junichiro laughed, squeezing past Iwaizumi, running into the shelves. "This library's so _big_!"

"Hey! Can you not be so lou—oh, Iwaizumi?" Mattsun appeared at the front desk and Iwaizumi winced. "What're you doing here?"

Anger flashed in Junichiro's eyes. "Do you know this man, Hajime?"

"What? _No_!" Iwaizumi laughed hollowly, and Mattsun frowned. _Can't talk now_ , he mouthed, and Mattsun nodded. Iwaizumi turned his attention back to Junichiro, and flashed him a big smile. "I just come here often, that's all."

Junichiro's gaze softened, but the anger didn't disappear. "Is that so?"

Iwaizumi leaned over and pressed a kiss to Junichiro's cheek. He winced at the feeling of his lips scraping Junichiro's stubble, but didn't say a word. "Junichiro, it's _fine_." He smiled, and Junichiro sighed. Mattsun's frown deepened. "You go look around, I'll wait here, okay?"

Junichiro looked back from Mattsun to Iwaizumi, before nodding. "Fine. I'll be back soon." He nodded once more, like he was assuring himself, and went deeper into the archives. Iwaizumi sighed in relief.

"What the hell was that?" Mattsun hissed, gesturing in the direction Junichiro was in. "I thought you left him for Oikawa?"

Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair. "It's more complicated than that, Mattsun. You know it is."

Mattsun sighed, crossing his arms. "Yeah, but, I can't stand seeing you like this." He looked back over his shoulder to see if Junichiro was looking. He wasn't. "You are your own man. Junichiro doesn't own you."

"I know," Iwaizumi shook his head. "But what can I do? Besides, Oikawa already knows, so I'm not doing it behind his back."

"Still," Mattsun shrugged. "I liked Oikawa more."

"Yeah, well, so did I but—"

Iwaizumi got cut off by the door opening, and a boy—around their age—stepped in.

" _Oikawa_?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOOOOooo0000OOOOOoooH is oikawa here to save the day?? or nah??? or does he just wanna borrow a book???
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos and comments; ily all!
> 
> have a great day!
> 
> p.s. not that any of you would care, but i changed my twitter user from @urlocalgaylien to @tobiohshit,, just in case you wanted to check it out


	17. "teach you a lesson"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please," Oikawa's eyes were digging into Iwaizumi's. The latter looked away. "Please don't do this to me, Iwa-chan, I waited for so long—"
> 
> "Did you think about how it affected me?" Iwaizumi was on the verge of tears, and he bit his lip, teeth tearing at the skin. "Both of you, roughing it out, over me. People hurt, over me."
> 
> "Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, eyes wide. "It's not like that, and you know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2000 HITS IM GONNA CR Y THANK YOU SO MUCH ILY ALL IM SOBBIN G 
> 
> quick warning: graphic descriptions of violence in this chapter, so if it irks you, skip the part from 'He's not worth it', to 'I didn't pick him'.
> 
> also, this chapter is kinda dramatic and if you didn't already hate me or junichiro, you will now.
> 
> nonetheless, enjoy!!

" _Oikawa_?" Iwaizumi could hardly believe his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Oikawa seemed to mirror his stunned expression. "I—Mattsun-chan—"

"I called him." Mattsun looked down sheepishly. Iwaizumi glared at him. "What? I needed someone to cover your shift! I didn't know you were coming here with that litt—"

"Hajime? I've picked out a book." All three pairs of eyes looked in the direction of Junichiro, who seemed slightly dazed. Then, he caught sight of Oikawa, and his eyes narrowed. "Oh, I see you have some more _friends_ , Hajime."

 _I could kill this man. And I should._ Oikawa hated the worried look on Iwaizumi's usually so confident face. He never wanted to see it again. Iwaizumi smiled nervously. "Who, this? No, no, he's just a visitor—"

"No, I'm not." Oikawa took a step forward, glaring back at Junichiro. "I'd say I know Iwa-chan pretty well."

Oikawa tried to ignore all the colour draining from Iwaizumi's face as Junichiro took another step toward them. "Iwa-chan?" Junichiro snarled, and Oikawa felt shivers down his spine. No wonder this man was in the navy. Junichiro turned to Iwaizumi. "What is the meaning of this?"

" _Nothing_ , I swear." Iwaizumi tugged on Junichiro's sleeve. "Please, Junichiro, let's head back. He's not worth it, okay?"

_He's not worth it, okay?_

Iwaizumi was saying something to Junichiro, but Oikawa couldn't hear him over the pounding in his ears. Iwaizumi was _his_ , this _monster_ didn't deserve him. He tightened his fists on his sides and tried to ignore the voice in his head that chanted, _punch him, kick him, spill his blood all over the fucking floor._

"Oh, fine." Junichiro spat, bitter. He crossed his arms. "But don't forget who you belong to, Hajime. You're mine. _Mine_. You don't do anything without me, you hear?"

_Don't forget who you belong to, Hajime._

In a flash, Oikawa's knuckles were colliding with the rough skin on Junichiro's skin. It wasn't enough to make him fall back, or break the skin, but the element of surprise sent him staggering backwards, clutching his jaw.

"Oikawa!" Mattsun, yelled, running to get between them. Junichiro pushed him aside, sending him flying into a heap of books. Iwaizumi looked torn for a minute, looking back between Oikawa and Mattsun. Eventually, he sent a steely glare into Oikawa's direction, and went after Mattsun, speaking to him softly. Oikawa clenched his fists.

_He didn't pick me._

He didn't know what was controlling him now; the hurt from the rejection, the hatred towards Junichiro, or both. All he knew was that he needed to do _something_ , and he needed to do it now. He needed Junichiro to know his place.

"You fucking piece of shit," Junichiro growled, and Oikawa tried not to flinch. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm teaching you a lesson!" Oikawa yelled, before charging at him again. He pummelled any part of Junichiro that appeared in front of him, and hoped that he was doing at least some sort of damage. Iwaizumi meant the world to him, and he wasn't going to let Junichiro take him away from Oikawa.

_"I have no other choice, Oikawa."_

_"It's killing me, this, but I have no other choice."_

Junichiro balled his fists and took a swing at Oikawa, clobbering his fists on his cheekbone. Oikawa heard a 'crunch', and prayed to every god he knew that nothing was broken. He staggered back, blood dripping from his face. It may have been his imagination, but he heard Iwaizumi gasp behind him.

Oikawa swiped the back of his hand across his face, and brought it to his eyes. The rich red colour of the blood, along with the metallic smell, was beginning to overpower him, and he had to try his hardest not to pass out. Instead, he shook his head and ran towards him, swiftly punching him in the stomach. Junichiro cried out and fell back, clutching his abdomen.

But it was over too fast, too soon. Soon, Junichiro had his fist on Oikawa's face again, this time on his nose. It was like a dam had been broken, and all the water had been replaced with blood. It gushed out like a fountain, spilling over the curve of Oikawa's chin, and dribbling down his shirt. All Oikawa could do was see red, hear red, _smell_ red.

"Stay _away_ from _my_ Iwa-chan." Oikawa grunted, spluttering on the waterfall of blood. Junichiro laughed, tilting his head back.

" _Your_ Iwa-chan? That's rich!" He snorted, and Oikawa felt the hatred growing in his veins, fires roaring beside the adrenaline. "You can barely take a few punches; how're you going to take care of Hajime?" He held Oikawa by the collar and lifted him up. "Face it. You're _pathetic_."

Bits of wet landed on Oikawa's cheek, but he didn't make any move to wipe it away. "You're right, I can't take care of Iwa-chan." He tilted his head back to look at Iwaizumi, but he wouldn't meet Oikawa's eyes. "He's his own man. He can take care of _himself_."

"Oh, please." Junichiro barked, tightening his grip on Oikawa's collar. "That's just what _losers_ say when they know they're not good enough. Give up already, you make me _sick_."

"Stop it!" Junichiro turned around rapidly, fist clenched, and punched Iwaizumi square in the face. He dropped Oikawa as Iwaizumi flew across the room, landing with a thud.

"You _monster_!"

A new sort of energy filled Oikawa, and he ran towards Junichiro with such force, he was practically _flying_. He punched Junichiro in the face, hit his nose, clawed at his throat until he saw the blood. Junichiro fell to the ground, clutching his throat, gasping, and Oikawa kicked him in the crotch, _hard_ , and let his scream fill the library.

Reality hit Oikawa, all of a sudden, and he _remembered_. "Iwa-chan!" He yelled, running towards Iwaizumi. The shorter boy seemed dazed, and watched Oikawa come closer to him with an unfazed expression plastered on his face. Oikawa stopped by his side, panting. "Are you okay?"

"Oikawa, I—" Iwaizumi reached up to Oikawa's split lip, fingers trembling. As soon as his felt Iwaizumi's touch against his skin, Oikawa screwed his eyes shut, tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan," Oikawa sobbed, dropping his head. Iwaizumi watched silently, bewildered. "I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't think he'd hit you, and—"

"Oikawa, look out!" Mattsun yelled, and Oikawa turned just in time to see Junichiro running towards him, flames of anger burning wild in his eyes. He latched his fist onto Oikawa's jaw, and Oikawa didn't even try to fight it off this time. Something had broken in him when he saw Iwaizumi, and all the hatred was now replaced with emptiness.

Junichiro held Oikawa in a chokehold, fingers twitching from the force. Oikawa's face began turning red, and he helplessly scratched at the other man's hands, tears in his eyes. "Don't you _ever_ go near Hajime again, you—”

”Drop him."

Oikawa stopped struggling to see Iwaizumi towering above them. The skin on his jaw was deep red, almost purple, but it made him look powerful, like a warrior. He crossed his arms, and Junichiro loosened his hold on Oikawa, leaving the latter to take a deep breath, choking.

"What is _wrong_ with you, Hajime, picking that imbecile over—"

"I didn't pick him." Iwaizumi's eyes were hard and cold. Oikawa's eyes fell to the floor. "And I'm not picking you either."

Oikawa stood up, shaking like a leaf during winter. "I-Iwa-chan."

"No, I'm not done yet." Iwaizumi lifted his hand. He turned to Junichiro. "You, I—" Iwaizumi shook his head, exasperated. "I can't believe I even _thought_ of meeting up with you."

Junichiro's eyes glinted like he had something crude to say, but he bit his lip and looked away. Iwaizumi stared hard at him, like he didn't know who he was anymore.

"And _you_ ," He breathed, looking over at Oikawa. Oikawa's eyes were full of want and desire, turning the hazel into a black. Iwaizumi shook his head again, in disbelief. "What the hell were you _thinking_?"

"I—" Oikawa's voice trailed off, because he didn't know _what_ he was thinking. He looked down.

"There's no way you can beat Junichiro in a fight, Oikawa." Junichiro looked up hopefully, but Iwaizumi glared back at him. "That's not a compliment. I appreciate the gesture, but—" Iwaizumi swallowed, taking in a deep breath.

"Don't say it," Oikawa pleaded, eyes filling with tears. Iwaizumi looked at him sadly. "You can pick him over me, but _please_ , don't say it, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi closed his eyes. "—I don't want either of you." He whispered softly.

All the pain from the last half hour came rushing to Oikawa all at once, knocking him down. He fell to his knees as an animal-like sound escaped his lips, detached, like it was coming from deep within his body. His shoulder shook, tears streamed down his cheeks, and he knew that Junichiro probably had a stupid smirk on his face, but he didn't care. All he wanted was Iwaizumi.

" _Please_ ," Oikawa's eyes were digging into Iwaizumi's. The latter looked away. "Please don't do this to me, Iwa-chan, I waited for so long—"

"Did you think about how it affected _me_?" Iwaizumi was on the verge of tears, and he bit his lip, teeth tearing at the skin. "Both of you, roughing it out, over me. People hurt, over me."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, eyes wide. "It's not like that, and you know it."

"No, I don't." Iwaizumi shook his head, tears finally slipping down his cheeks. "I'm not something to fight over, Oikawa. I'm not your _plaything_. You can't just beat each other up and then have me as a prize." Iwaizumi wasn't yelling, exactly, but something about his voice made Oikawa's skin crawl. "I have my own opinions, and I have a say. But _neither_ of you acknowledged that."

"I—" Oikawa's voice caught, and a few more tears streaked down his cheeks. "I love you, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi looked in his direction, but it was more like he was looking through Oikawa. "I don't want either of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee im the worst
> 
> let's talk all things iwaoi over at my twitter: tobiohshit
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments; have a great day!!!


	18. "you always cheat"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know what you're gonna do?" Akaashi gave him another indecipherable look. Iwaizumi looked down.
> 
> "I—I think so. At least, I have an idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100+ comments so cute ass chapter ft. overprotective best friends!!
> 
> honestly,, thank you guys SO much for the comments, i try to reply to every single one of them because every single one of them makes!! my!! day!!
> 
> enjoy this (more or less) drama-free chapter!! ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)

Iwaizumi was watching television when he heard the doorbell ring. Groaning, he pushed his face into the pillow, letting the voices of the people on the screen wash over him.

Makki and Mattsun had been coming to visit him almost everyday since he'd rejected both Junichiro and Oikawa. Makki claimed it was because he didn't want 'my poor baby to fall into a bottomless pit of denial and heartbreak!' and Mattsun just tagged along to make sure Makki didn't push him too far.

"Fuck off," Iwaizumi yelled, as the doorbell kept ringing. He heard muttering on the other side of the door.

"I don't remember him being so rude when he told me about him."

"Now, now, let's not jump to conclusions."

Iwaizumi got up, raising an eyebrow. That most _definitely_ was not Makki and Mattsun, seeing as they would've barged in by now. Slowly, he peeked through the bird hole on his door, eyeing a tuft of greyish-black hair, standing upright, and a shorter mass of jet black, curly hair. Iwaizumi frowned. He didn't remember inviting anyone over, so how...?

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door to reveal a boy (the one with grey hair) with a smile plastered across his face and dancing eyes that could never seem to stay in one place, accompanied by another boy, this time with a placid expression and stone cold eyes that seemed to put the former boy in his place.

"So! You're the famous 'Iwa-chan', aren't you?" The first boy asked, bombarding into house. The second boy gave him a quick look of apology before following him into the house.

Iwaizumi tried not to flinch at the nickname. "H-How do you know that name?"

The first boy tilted his head to the side. "Wow, he never told you about his best friends? Say, Akaashi," He looked towards the second boy—Akaashi—and frowned. "Didn't he say he'd mentioned us?"

"He might have, Bokuto-san." Akaashi replied, voice cool and collected. He looked Iwaizumi up and down. "But Iwaizumi-san hasn't ever seen us before."

"Oh, yeah!" Bokuto's eyes lit up, and he shot a hand out at Iwaizumi for him to shake. "The name's Bokuto. The pretty boy over there—" He jabbed his thumb back at Akaashi, who nodded curtly. "—is Akaashi. We're Oikawa's best friends!"

Oikawa. "Ah, yes, Oikawa did mention you once or twice before. Would you like a drink?" Iwaizumi asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Akaashi frowned.

"Just water's good thanks. It'll be the same for Bokuto." Akaashi's voice was harsh yet monotone, like he was trying to figure out what to do with Iwaizumi. Bokuto groaned, tilting his head back.

"Oikawa only mentioned us ' _once_ or _twice_ '?" Bokuto whined, as Iwaizumi placed two glasses of water on the table. Akaashi picked his up, but didn't drink from it, instead glared at it like it would grow wings any second and fly away. "We're his _best friends_!"

"Bokuto-san, I'm sure they had," Akaashi paused, clearing his throat. "More _important_ things to talk about. Am I right, Iwaizumi-san?"

Iwaizumi frowned. "Wait, how'd you get my address?"

Bokuto grinned, picking up his glass of water and downing it in one go. "Oikawa, obviously. Well, he didn't tell us _explicitly_ , but we know his password." Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Akaashi, who looked away.

"What do you want?" Iwaizumi crossed his arms, and Bokuto and Akaashi shared a quick look, before Akaashi turned to face Iwaizumi again.

"We want to know why you left Oikawa-san." Akaashi replied. Bokuto nodded in agreement.

"I—" Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair and looked down, avoiding Akaashi's patronising gaze. "It's complicated."

Bokuto waved him off. "Oh, please." He shook his head, laughing softly. "That's what you say when you obviously mean something else."

Akaashi nodded, and Iwaizumi sighed. "Oh, fine. I—" He spat, annoyance tarnishing his features. Bokuto seemed to flutter about nervously, until Akaashi put a hand on his thigh. He visibly calmed down after that, and pressed a soft kiss to Akaashi's cheek, making his cheeks fire up. Iwaizumi cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry." Bokuto grinned, wrapping his arm around Akaashi, who scowled. "Go on."

"It's just, I'm not ready for something like that." Iwaizumi looked down, biting his lip. "I like Oikawa, I really do, but I can't handle the commitment, you know?" He flickered gaze up to Akaashi and Bokuto, who were listening intently. "I'm supposing Oikawa told you about Junichiro?"

Akaashi nodded. "Your boyfriend, right?"

Iwaizumi frowned, picking up Bokuto's empty glass and heading towards the sink. "Ex. I didn't dump Oikawa for him, I didn't dump him for Oikawa." He rinsed the glass and placed it beside the sink. "I just, don't want a relationship right now."

Bokuto sighed, frowning. "Why not? You _scared_?" He giggled to himself, before Akaashi sent him a glare.

"What Bokuto-san means to say, is," Akaashi put his glass down. "Why aren't you ready for a relationship? Does it have something to do with, uh, Junichiro-san, was it?"

Iwaizumi nodded. "In a way, I guess so." He shrugged, crossing his arms. "My relationship with Junichiro lasted a good three years, so it's hard for me to suddenly get back into it, you know?"

"Oikawa-san's not messing around, and you know that." Akaashi looked fierce and determined. Iwaizumi looked away.

"I know that." He muttered. "Still, I'm not saying never. I'm saying not now."

"Oikawa-san's not going to wait forever." Iwaizumi's head shot up, and Bokuto grinned. "He's going to move on soon, if you don't get on with it. He's human. Humans can't wait around forever."

"I—" Iwaizumi's voice was quiet, and Akaashi's gaze softened.

"Listen, I'm not trying to force you into something you're not comfortable with." Akaashi looked over his shoulder at Bokuto. "And neither is Bokuto-san. But we want you to realise that you're running out of time." Bokuto nodded again, and Iwaizumi sighed.

"I know," Iwaizumi shook his head, and Bokuto wondered if he was going to cry. " _God_ , I know. But, I—I don't know what to do."

Akaashi smiled softly. "Did you assume that Oikawa-san had this all planned out? Because he really doesn't, I can assure you." Iwaizumi looked up, eyes red. Bokuto grinned over at him again, and Iwaizumi managed a weak smile. _Fuck you, Oikawa._ Iwaizumi thought, _Fuck you and your supportive friends._

"In an ideal world, you two would be long married by now." Bokuto laughed, and Akaashi shook his head fondly. "But we're not in an ideal world, we're in this one. And in this one, there's still a tiny chance of you guys getting together." Bokuto slung an arm around Iwaizumi, and leaned in closer so that Akaashi couldn't hear.

"I _totally_ respect that you wanna take your time with this stuff." He whispered, eyes solemn. "But between you and me, Akaashi and I _may_ or may not have a bet going on. Don't let me down, bro."

Iwaizumi chuckled—or if we're going to be _honest_ , he giggled—and nodded. "I got your back, man."

Bokuto leaned back and beamed. "Bro, thanks." He wiped a fake tear from his eye and Iwaizumi wiped away a real one. Akaashi did _not_ look impressed.

"You told Iwaizumi-san about the bet, didn't you, Bokuto-san?" Akaashi raised an eyebrow as Bokuto flushed a deep red. Iwaizumi had to admit, this guy's observation skills were _amazing_.

"W-What? I—I would _never_!" It should have come off as a believable lie, but Bokuto's voice broke at the end, and went all high-pitched. Akaashi rolled his eyes.

"Bokuto-san, this is why I never wager bets with you anymore. You always cheat." He shook his head, picking up his glass and putting it in the sink, washing his hands after. Bokuto tilted his head back, exasperated.

" _Akaashi_ ," He whined, and Iwaizumi tried to smother a laugh with the back of his hand. Akaashi caught the movement and smiled softly.

"I think our work here is done." He grinned once again at Iwaizumi, grabbed Bokuto by the arm, and walked out of the house. Iwaizumi trailed behind them, trying desperately to ignore Bokuto's cries. ("Akaashi, I'm _sorry_!” "Akaashi, do you hate me now?" "Akaashi, I'm still your boyfriend, right?").

Akaashi paused by the door and turned to face Iwaizumi, fixing him a look that Iwaizumi couldn't really read. "You're a good guy, Iwaizumi-san. I'm glad that Oikawa-san found you."

Iwaizumi looked away, a thin blush coating his cheeks. "Nah, it's nothing. Thanks for the advice."

"No problem. I'll ask Oikawa-san to send mine and and Bokuto-san's number over to you, just in case you want to talk." Akaashi shrugged, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on Bokuto's back. "Or I might just do it myself, you never know."

Iwaizumi laughed, nodding. "Okay. That's cool."

"You know what you're gonna do?" Akaashi gave him another indecipherable look. Iwaizumi looked down.

"I—I think so. At least, I have an idea." He nodded again, and Bokuto looked up.

"I ship you guys so _much_!" Bokuto wailed, burying his face in Akaashi's shoulder. "Don't let me down, bro!"

"Sorry for the intrusion," Akaashi gave him a curt nod. "If you don't mind, we'll be on our way."

Iwaizumi nodded back, putting his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, go for it." He flashed a quick grin at Akaashi. "I'll be on my own, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love bokuaka kill me nOW
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos & comments!! i appreciate you all so much,, have a gr9 day!! (⌒ω⌒)ﾉ


	19. "an outsider's opinion"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then why don't you?" Oikawa asked, and Makki sent him a look. "Uh, not that I want you two to break up, that is."
> 
> Mattsun sniffed softly. "Because I love him, dammit."
> 
> "Is that why?" Makki asked, his airy laughter filling the room. Oikawa smiled knowingly.
> 
> "It is, actually." Mattsun's voice was tight, like an angry five year old admitting to something. "It's what keeps me back every single time. Because I love you, and I'll do anything to be with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter featuring friends of boyfriend pt.2!!! except iwa-chan's friends aren't as overprotective as bokuaka lmao
> 
> i really just added this chapter for two reasons 1) i need to add some gap between the drama or you guys might actually kill me and 2) it felt bad to feature bokuaka with no matsuhana & matsuhana are in the tags so i may as well do them some sort of justice haha
> 
> anyway, enjoy this chapter!!

Oikawa hummed softly to himself, adding a few gentle strokes to his painting. It showed a boy, staring at the ocean, with a few seagulls scattered around him. Oikawa had spent a long time on this painting, and it was almost done.

However, one thing seemed to annoy him. He couldn't capture the emotion in the boy's eyes; he couldn't get him to look anything other than sad. He'd painted over the area so many times, the painting seemed to protrude out of the canvas.

Sighing, Oikawa tucked the paintbrush behind his ears, along with a strand of stray hair. There was no use pushing himself when he had no creative energy. He'd simply have to wait for it to come back to him, and then he could try again.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang, causing Oikawa to nearly jump out of his skin and drop his palette on the floor. A frown etched it's way onto his face, and he stormed towards the door, ready to give whoever it was a little piece of his mind, specifically how he thought they were a b—

"Oikawa-san!" Makki laughed, flashing a quick peace sign and bringing the other boy in a hug. Oikawa blinked, confused, and let the other man envelop him in his arms. Mattsun stood not too far off on the side, hands stuffed in his pockets with his eyes on the floor. "Long time no see!"

"M-Makki-chan?" Oikawa stuttered nervously, laughing out of force of habit. He looked over at Mattsun, who shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

"What? Can't a guy visit his friend?" Makki ruffled Oikawa's hair, before walking into the apartment, Mattsun hot on his heels. Oikawa shut the door behind him, trying to smooth his hair out. "Woah, you have a nice place!"

Oikawa blushed as Mattsun nodded in agreement. "Uh, thanks, I guess." He frowned in worry. "Wait, how'd you find out where I live?"

The two boys shared a quick look. "Simple!" Makki eventually beamed, plopping down in Oikawa's couch, Mattsun glaring at him. "Mattsun followed you home one day when you left the library!"

"You _what_?" Oikawa looked at Mattsun in disbelief, who shrugged again, unfazed by the whole situation. Crossing his arms, Oikawa pouted, making Makki laugh.

"Aw, Oikawa, don't look so mad!" Makki grinned, and Oikawa glared at the floor. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, we didn't have any 'stalker-ish' purposes. We just wanted to talk about Iwaizumi for a while, that's all."

 _Iwaizumi_. Oikawa took a deep breath and Mattsun gave Makki a nudge. "Oh yeah, you probably know him as Iwa-chan. Well, doesn't matter what we call him, at least we're all on the same page!" Mattsun rolled his eyes.

"O-Okay." Oikawa took a shaky breath and let his arms fall to his sides. "What do you want to talk about?"

"In case you haven't realised, Oikawa-san, our little baby is a little dense. He doesn't know what he has until it's gone." Oikawa frowned as Mattsun nodded.

"How does that do anything with me?" Oikawa asked, biting his lip. Makki and Mattsun shared another look before Makki burst out laughing. Even Mattsun managed a little smile. "What?"

"How does it—Oikawa, it has _everything_ to do with you!" Makki breathed in between giggles. Mattsun smacked him upside in the head, to get him to shut up. "Mattsun, ow!"

"I don't get it." Oikawa looked up at Mattsun, who smiled back gently at him. It put a warm feeling in the base of his stomach. "Why does Iwa-chan's... _density_ , per say, have anything to do with me? I'm not the reason he's dense." He looked at Mattsun again, who shrugged. He didn't seem to do much else.

"Oikawa, he doesn't realise that he has _you_." Makki explained, voice soft, like he was talking to a child. Oikawa looked down, and Makki and Mattsun shared a worried look. "Mattsun told me what happened at the library, and while I'm glad Iwaizumi finally grew a pair and stood up to Junichiro, I'm not too ecstatic he gave up on you."

"It's not his fault," Oikawa laced his fingers together. "He's—he just needs some time, that's all."

Makki raised an eyebrow and looked over at Mattsun. "Mattsun, is this the Oikawa-san you remember? 'Cause it's definitely not the one _I_ remember. The one I know constantly bugged Iwaizumi to—"

"Okay, okay, I get it." Oikawa huffed, running a hand through his hair. Makki beamed, making Mattsun roll his eyes. "But what am I supposed to do? I can't force myself on him."

For the first time during this whole encounter, Mattsun spoke up. "We're not asking you to force yourself on him." He folded his arms, and Oikawa stared at the floor. "We—or at least, I—get that this whole situation is hard on both you and Iwaizumi, so we're not going to force you into anything. We're just giving you an outsider's opinion on this whole situation."

Oikawa nodded slowly, processing the information as Makki cracked another smile. "Damn, babe!" Makki laughed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Mattsun's cheek. Mattsun looked away swiftly, but he couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks. "You give such good advice!"

"Shut up, Makki, this isn't about me." Mattsun grumbled, but he could stop the smile from devouring his face. "Let's focus on Oikawa, okay?"

"Fine," Makki gave in, but he was still smiling over at Mattsun, like he couldn't believe he was really there. Oikawa groaned.

"I want that," He moaned, pointing at Makki and Mattsun. "God, you guys are such a cute couple, why can't _I_ have that, dammit!"

Makki opened his arms and Oikawa returned the hug gratefully. Mattsun stared at the floor, off on the side, arms crossed. "Listen," If Oikawa closed his eyes, he felt as though he was with Akaashi. "Relationships are tough. You don't just get given a perfect one; you gotta work for it."

"I know," Oikawa murmured, letting Makki toy with his hair. "But I've done nothing but work at it, you know? Is it because Iwa-chan isn't doing anything about it?"

"Maybe," Makki patted the seat on the couch beside him, and Mattsun sent him one last glare before intertwining their fingers together and laying his head on his shoulder, staring up at the ceiling. Oikawa smiled softly. "But I don't think Iwaizumi's doing it on purpose, you know? Like I said, he's just really dense. If he saw how much this was tearing you apart, he'd probably realise. He really does care about you, Oikawa-san."

Oikawa didn't reply, just shut his eyes as he listened to Makki talk to Mattsun about some movie they'd seen. In a way, Makki was right: perfect relationships didn't fall out of the sky. You needed to work for it for an okay one to even be a possibility. And just lying there, eyes closed. Oikawa could tell the two other boys in the room had worked their _asses_ off to get what they had.

"Mattsun?" Oikawa piped up, and the two boys shared a look before Mattsun nodded. "Do you ever feel like giving up on your relationship with Makki?"

Mattsun pursed his lips and lifted his head off Makki's shoulder, and Makk gave him a worried look. He glanced back up at him before returning his gaze to the floor. "Sometimes," He whispered, and the room was silent as Makki took in a deep breath and squeezed Mattsun's hand, who let his head fall back on Makki's shoulder, eyes shut.

"Mattsun," Makki breathed, and Mattsun shook his head and swallowed.

"It gets really hard sometimes," Mattsun muttered, and Makki looked down at the floor. Oikawa closed his eyes. "And it's during times like that I want to give up on the whole thing, pretend we never happened." Makki flinched when he felt wetness pooling on his shoulder, and wrapped his arm around Mattsun, letting him cry into the nape of his neck.

"Then why don't you?" Oikawa asked, and Makki sent him a look. "Uh, not that I want you two to break up, that is."

Mattsun sniffed softly. "Because _I love him_ , dammit."

"Is that why?" Makki asked, his airy laughter filling the room. Oikawa smiled knowingly.

"It is, actually." Mattsun's voice was tight, like an angry five year old admitting to something. "It's what keeps me back every single time. Because I _love you_ , and I'll do _anything_ to be with you."

All the easiness in the room vanished, and Makki's breath hitched. "Mattsun," He gasped, trying to look down at his boyfriend. Mattsun refused to meet his eyes, so Makki softly squeezed his sides. "Really?"

Mattsun nodded into Makki's shirt. "Really, really, you _idiot_." He finally looked up to see Makki grinning down at him. "I love you."

Makki squealed softly and pressed his lips against Mattsun, his eyes big and full of wonder. It was that very look that Oikawa decided to use for the boy in his painting, and suddenly he didn't look so sad anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams* I LOVE MATSUHANA SO MUCH THEYRE MY DADS
> 
> if you would like to talk more iwaoi, bokuaka, matsuhana, literally every fucking ship from haikyuu!!,,, hmu @ tobiohshit on twitter!!
> 
> don't forget to leave kudos and comments, and i hope you guys have a great day and find 10 bucks in your unwashed jeans, just for luck ;)


	20. author's note - i'm alive

hi everyone !!!! i hope you're all well (:

im sorry for disappearing for 8 months !!!! i feel like i've let a lot of you down, seeing the number of people who've subscribed to this story and have waited patiently for an update which i, being the asshat i am, didnt provide.

but that's all changed now !! even if i lost inspiration for the LONGEST time, i'm back now ! im confident with where to take this story, and i reckon that there's only going to be 2-3 chapters and an epilogue before this comes to a close. i just want to thank you all for sticking by me for so long and not giving up on this, and i promise i won't let you down again 

i will also be writing a matsuhana spinoff to this, and possibly a bokuaka one seeing that's what you all are asking for haha

if you'd like to talk more, check me out on twitter at smiiefiowers (:

i also have a couple of other iwaoi fics i wrote in the time of my writers block, and i'd appreciate it to no end if you took the time to check it out.

again, thank you for reading this, and i promise to have an update out in a day or two ❤️

all the love,  
shei (pastelhajime) x


	21. "i'll never let you down."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy—around his age—stepped in, his eyes big and wide. He had brown, wavy hair that stood up effortlessly, and when he walked up to the front desk, Iwaizumi could tell he was slightly taller than him, and he wasn't too proud to admit it.
> 
> "Oikawa," He breathed, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im alive !!!!!!!!! i've missed u all so much as well as this story, and hopefully this chapter will make up for it??? like i mentioned in the previous author's note, there will be about 1-2 more chapters after this + an epilogue, as well as a matsuhana spinoff,, maybe even a bokuaka one if i'm feeling generous haha
> 
> thank u all for staying with this story, i never expected it to get 3k+ reads and i really couldn't have done it without you. you all made these characters and my plot seem important which i really cannot thank u enough for ❤️
> 
> anyway before i get too sappy, please do check out my twitter: smiiefiowers !! i'll be happy to talk to any of you (:
> 
> enjoy !!

The first fall of winter — soft snowflakes fell to the ground, coating the ground with white.

Iwaizumi took a sip from his mug and sighed. He hadn't spoken to Oikawa to so long, and his whole body ached with the memory of him. He didn't want to sound too much like the hopeless romantic in a lifetime movie but without Oikawa, colours were lost, and food didn't taste the same. He didn't care about anything since he'd lost Oikawa.

Junichiro had messaged him a couple of times, apologising and saying he hadn't intended it to spiral out of hand. Iwaizumi knew he should have been angry, but there was too much sadness in him for him to act upon it. Instead, he deleted the messages, deleted Junichiro's contact from his phone, and left it that.

The sound of the phone ringing pulled Iwaizumi out of his own head. The sound of his feet padding across the floor filled the room as he answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey!" Makki's voice filled his ears. "How are you?"

Iwaizumi looked back out at the snow. "Why'd you call, Makki?"

The strawberry haired boy sighed. "I get that you're still grieving over your lost love or whatever, but we still need someone to cover shifts at the library."

"Okay," He shrugged. "Get Mattsun to do it then."

"Listen to me, Iwaizumi." He didn't sound angry or frustrated — just tired. "You decided to do this. You left Oikawa, remember that."

"I _had_ to," Iwaizumi snapped. "You know I had no other choice."

"That was then. Things have changed." There was rustling on the other side. "Oikawa isn't going to wait for you forever. He's human, he'll move on."

The raven haired boy looked down. "That's what Akaashi said, too."

"And we're right." Makki said. "You know we are."

"What are you saying?" Iwaizumi mindlessly wrapped the phone cord around his finger, frowning.

"I'm saying you need to make up your mind," Makki finally said. "You can either sit around and mope while Oikawa moves on, or you can get your ass down here before Mattsun and I drop dead from overworking our beautiful, beautiful bodies."

A ghost of smile appeared on Iwaizumi's face. "You never gave me the option of calling Oikawa."

"Even if I did," Makki sighed. "Would you have done it?"

Iwaizumi considered that. "I'll be there in five minutes."

\----------------

"Hey," Iwaizumi stepped into the library, a gust of warm air welcoming him. Makki grinned.

"You made it," He beamed, and Iwaizumi looked away.

"I told you I would, didn't I?" The shorter boy rubbed his hands together to salvage warmth. "Besides, you and Mattsun deserve a break."

"Hell yeah we do!" Makki slapped Iwaizumi's back, a little too hard in the other's opinion, and turned around. "Mattsun, we're free!"

On cue, Mattsun appeared from the break room. He eyed Iwaizumi up and down, then nodded. "Good to see you're back."

He didn't complicate it, asking Iwaizumi if he needed to talk, but the offer went unspoken, and Iwaizumi appreciated that. "Thanks. Sorry about not showing up."

"It's fine," Mattsun shrugged, and helped Makki with his coat before putting his own on. "We'll be back before long."

Iwaizumi nodded, and watched as the two left, Makki laughing about something, and Mattsun watching him fondly. He smiled. At least _someone_ had things going okay for them.

Sighing, Iwaizumi removed his coat and took his place behind the counter. As he sat in the worn out seat, he realised how much he'd missed this familiar atmosphere: books as far as the eye could see, the smell of dust in the air. In a way, it was like coming home.

And then the bell rang. A boy—around his age—stepped in, his eyes big and wide. He had brown, wavy hair that stood up effortlessly, and when he walked up to the front desk, Iwaizumi could tell he was slightly taller than him, and he wasn't too proud to admit it.

"Oikawa," He breathed, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Oikawa shuffled awkwardly on the spot. "I came to see Makki." He mumbled, and his voice filled Iwaizumi's ears, instantly sending him back to the previous weeks. "Though I should have expected him to do something like this."

An awkward silence followed. "So," Iwaizumi cleared his throat and attempted a smile. "Wanna help me put the books away?"

Oikawa smiled. "Sure,"

\----------------

"This feels like deja vu." Oikawa remarked as Iwaizumi handed him another book. "We've done this way too many times."

Iwaizumi nodded. "Does that mean you know what's coming up next?" Oikawa froze and Iwaizumi took a deep breath. "Look, I—"

"Don't." Oikawa cut him off. "Don't say anything. It took me a lot to come through these doors today, and I don't want to ruin that."

Hurt hit Iwaizumi like a baseball bat to the face. "Right." He mumbled, and they settled back into another silence.

They continued to stack books, before Oikawa shook his head. "This is stupid," He muttered, tears filling his eyes. "This is so, so _stupid_."

Iwaizumi frowned. "Oikawa?"

"I hate this," He spat. "I know you made a decision or whatever — but I really hate that you chose this, of all things. Like, you could have done anything else, but why give up on us?"

The older boy had never felt smaller. He stared at his hands. "I had no choice," He whispered, though he knew his argument was just as pathetic as when he'd used it with Makki. "I didn't want you get to hurt."

"You know, when I fought Junichiro, I told him you didn't need anyone to look after you." Oikawa shook his head again. "And now I'm gonna tell you — you don't need to look after me."

"I know, you're your own man or whatever." Iwaizumi sighed. "I just don't want anyone hurt because of me."

"Yet that's exactly what happened." Iwaizumi snapped his head up, just in time to see tears streaking down Oikawa's cheeks. "I wish you didn't push me away, especially when I needed you most."

Iwaizumi bit his lip enough to draw blood, but even that couldn't stop the tears. "I'm sorry."

Oikawa sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hands. "These last few weeks, they've been hell." He admitted, voice soft and scared.

"I didn't mean it," Iwaizumi whispered. "I didn't mean any of it."

"I know you didn't," Oikawa let his head drop into his hands. "But when you said you'd never leave me, I took it seriously. And even if you felt like this was the best decision, I wish you'd told me about it."

"Oikawa—"

"We could have worked through it." Oikawa's voice came out muffled from behind his hands. "But now, we're awkward and uncomfortable around each other — all the stuff I wish we weren't."

"You think I don't know that?" Iwaizumi finally yelled. He couldn't help it — all the emotion from seeing Oikawa again, combined with the longing to hold him close and pretend it had never happened, it was too much to hold in. "You think you don't know what I've done?"

"I've never regretted anything more in my entire _life_ ," Iwaizumi placed emphasis on every single word, hot and heavy in his mouth, big and full of meaning when spoken. "I've never missed anyone like I've missed you, either. You think these weeks were bad for you? At least you didn't have to carry the guilt of knowing that it's your fault things ended this way."

"Iwai—"

"I haven't heard your voice in so long," Iwaizumi's hands trembled, along with the rest of his body. Tears blurred his vision, but he could still see Oikawa's pitying gaze. "I haven't even heard you call me by that stupid nickname in so long, that it's driving me insane. I even miss your dumb emoticons filling up my messages." He paused, taking in a shaky breath. "I miss you so much, Oikawa."

The brunet leaned forward, and for a second Iwaizumi thought their lips would meet and it'd all be okay, but instead, he wiped the older's tears. "I had no idea," Oikawa breathed. "I had no idea you felt this way."

Iwaizumi held Oikawa's hand to his face; didn't allow him to pull away. "You're killing me, Oikawa."

Sighing, Oikawa pulled his hand away, despite Iwaizumi's efforts. Rubbing it between the fingers of the other hand, he eyed Iwaizumi up and down. "I don't know what to do, Iwa-chan."

Wiping the rest of his tears, Iwaizumi smiled at the nickname. "That's okay,"

"I want to be with you," Oikawa looked away. "Believe me — its just not that easy anymore. There's all this unsaid stuff, all these talks we need to have, and if they're all going to end up like this, I don't know if I can handle it."

"I understand," Disappointment filled Iwaizumi, running through his veins instead of blood.

"No, you don't." When Iwaizumi looked up again, Oikawa was shaking his head, but smiling, and that's when he knew he hadn't lost him completely. Hope strung tightly around his heart. "Because I'm not giving up on us."

Iwaizumi couldn't believe his ears. "You're not?"

Oikawa stood up, and then offered Iwaizumi a hand. "I'm not," He assured, smiling. Iwaizumi took a deep breath. "We've been through too much for that."

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi took his hand and pulled himself up. "I won't let you down, I promise."

Oikawa grinned, the signature expression sending waves of warmth through Iwaizumi. "Now, when have you ever done that?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay idk when i'll update but hang till then friends


End file.
